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Sunday, April 19, 2020

Shades of Essential

Essential has become a topic of interest during Shelter in Place. Essential for whom? For what? Food certainly is essential, but are Twinkies? And given we don't know what our future will bring as we battle the pandemic, are tomato stakes? And garage doors?

Today, these things were essential for my peace of mind. The last rainstorm that blew through had stripped the side garage door of it's last semblance of security. It had been weathered almost beyond redemption, and the storm was the final blow. I ordered one online to pick up, and since I was there I grabbed the tomato stakes we needed, and some soil to bolster the potatoes that are growing. I only knew I needed that from watching Grow, Cook, Eat on a 'free to me' xfinity channel at some point last night while not sleeping. We had planted some sprouted potatoes on a whim, accidentally at exactly the right time of year, and the timing of the show was perfect. Our plants were about 6" high or so having been in the ground a few weeks, and this is when you push dirt up around the leaves, covering all but the topmost greenery. This forces the plant to keep reaching up, creating a longer stem, resulting in more potatoes. I'll do this a couple of more times over the next month or so and the potatoes should be ready to harvest come October. Next year we'll plant them in a raised bed instead of a container, now that I have the skinny on proper planting.

So M is in the backyard replacing the door. It was a testament to my strength and fortitude that I figured out (with a little handyman help at Lowe's) how to fit it in the car, and had a bungee cord on hand to hold the back gate closed on the drive home. It feels good to know we are being productive, and it's such a beautiful day out.

Side Note: yes I wore a face mask, disinfected my hands at the store, changed clothes and washed up once home. New normal and all that.

Those are the good things.

While looking for the items on my list at the store (caulking, shims, hand set) I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirrored door. In aisle 45. At least I think it was myself. A grey haired frumpy woman leaning over the handle of a shopping cart and slumping along. Obviously tired, looking beat. It wasn't how I felt. While the glow of having lost 20 pounds is fading, I feel so much stronger that I forgot how much farther I have to go.

Time to get off the maintenance I have slid into and back in to losing mode. There are a couple of things I have been thinking about. One, the more energy I put into thinking I need to do this, the worse I do. I have come to the conclusion that the energy I am generating gets eaten up by both wolves. I need to go back to the beginning when I just did what the book said. No cheer-leading, no fan fare, just doing. Plain and simple. Luckily I do begin each day Bright, so it will be easy to continue.

Back to one day at a time. I can do this today. I can keep my Bright Lines today. While the pool may not open this Summer, I expect there will be hot days on which I need to take my turn supervision in a wading pool out back. I will be ready.

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