BLE: Bootie Camp - Module 5

This module focused on holidays & celebrations and how to 'manage' them. My first year I ate three mostly  bright meals at the holidays, and had a slice of pie for desert.  I say mostly because I ate what I considered bright plates, not counting the butter in the mashed potatoes or the bacon in the green beans.  You get the idea. Oh, and I did have a few Christmas cookies. But no binges, no eating between meals, and I felt successful. Little did I know I was setting myself up for 'reinforced intermittence' and the internal permission to eat at the next holiday, and the next, and the next.

The past couple of years have been better in some ways, but not really so much overall.  There is so much connection between food and celebrating it can be hard to draw the lines we must to stay bright.

Module 5

Holiday Meals: My balance comes from adding the flavours of the season to my meals, and focusing on the people. Yam puddings for breakfast, charcuterie board lunches in place of appetizers, and dinners loaded with sage, mushrooms and lean proteins. But there is splurging, like having a handful of Ruffles potato chips and onion dip as part of lunch, because I can rationalize how potatoes are a vegetable and the onion dip is a fat. But then there is an opened bag of chips, and I have found my hand grabbing a handful or two in the following days until they are gone.  But then, it's literally a year before we buy them again.  I sometimes struggle with this, and ask myself how it relates to  BLE as an addiction recovery program. If I were sneaking out buying chips for the next month or so then yes, I would have to stop. But that doesn't happen, and it means something to me to have this little indulgence each year. Per BLE it should never be about the food and it's clear that I am blended with a strong part of myself that doesn't agree.

Yam puddings (or custards) spiced like pumpkin pie for breakfast truly satisfy the itch for actual pie, and I love feeling great after dinner instead of being full and grumpy. Eating appetizers for lunch and making a bright meal out of them is easy for us as traditionally we don't have sugar or flour in our appies. 

Baking:  Christmas cookies are a challenge for me, but I will say that compared to a lifetime of over-indulging in these sweets having a few to sample the holiday baking going on by others in the house seems fairly harmless. But again, I'm just practicing 'intermittent reinforcement', which is another way of saying keeping my addiction alive. There is a part of my brain that argues for moderation and mindful eating, and maybe that is where I will end up. But in the meantime I am not in my bright body, and need to get weight off of my arthritic back. So heading into Autumn and then onward into the holiday season, this year I feel the need to be BRIGHT. Maybe next year I will have a cookie.

What to say: this hasn't been a problem or challenge as I don't socialize and my immediate family knows how I eat. The coming holidays will be spent with my Mom, and there will undoubtedly be family around. I don't think I have any need to prevaricate. A simple, No Thank you should do, but if I am asked I will just say I do Bright Line Eating - flour and sugar make me crazy in ways I don't like so I no longer eat them. What I will say when caught eating a Christmas cookie? Addiction is hard, I do my best. But I don't really see that happening.

Birthdays & Weddings:  Don't take your food scale to these celebrations. Have a Bright meal and focus on the people. Depending on the timeline of the event you may want to eat before or afterwards.

WOOP: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan - a tool to use when planning for an event, challenge, or maybe just dinner out with friends.

Wish: In thinking about the upcoming situation, what do you wish for the outcome to be?

Outcome: Go over in detail exactly what this looks like & feels like when you successfully handle whatever it is.

Obstacle: What is the main/major obstacle you see that may derail you?

Plan: What can you do to avoid or eliminate the temptation or situation that has you concerned?

Basically this  module was about planning to stay Bright. Not intending to stay bright, but Planning to do so. Big Difference.

Lab Work and Ham Soup

Another long day. But tonight I made the lentil soup I had planned and there are four bowls ready to go in the fridge with ham and another two just lentils, bok choy & parsnips. I did take a tiny taste; no sense in storing bad soup. It's not bad. I cooked the veggies with the ham stock then pureed them. Then I added the lentils to cook. Finally I weighed 3oz of ham into each bowl and covered it with the soup.

I waited to eat breakfast at work today because I stopped on the way to have blood work done. It's time for my annual tests and I wanted a baseline before the Bright Line boot camp too. Some of the tests are in and everything is in the normal range. My cholesterol is on a downward slope, within the normal range now too, but the real story is my triglycerides.

If I had the patience I would correlate the graph with my entries to see what I was eating at the time, but really, all I care about is that my chances of stroke have been cut in half. I can hardly wait to test again at the end of boot camp.

(b)  sausage, triscuits, banana

(l)  meatballs, green beans, apple

(d)  beef jerkey, lettuce & carrot salad, potatoes

Another get home hungry night. There were baked fries on a cookie sheet and home made tartar sauce on the kitchen counter and they were finished with dinner. I weighed out the potatoes and called the tartar sauce the fat and called it a day.  Not on plan, but no sugar or flour. I'm going to have to step up my game to get through tax season, which is why I took the time to make soup tonight.

I'm looking forward to my first coaching call tomorrow - a great way to spend lunch at work! I'm trying to not think about work tonight - I have a hiccup in my team and don't want to bring the stress home with me. But I care about them all, and need a plan to get everyone back on track - the extra workload right now has us all a little frazzled I think. We'll work it out, I trust in that, and that's a beginning.

I am so tired, and ready for bed. I just need to sign off, make my paper journal entries, and call it a day. 

Good Food

I decided that if I was to limit the amount of food that I was eating, and draw Bright Lines between myself, sugar, and flour, the remaining food should be good. No, better than good, delicious. I knew the only way to do this and not feel deprived would be to prepare meals that I loved. Mostly over the past three months I have done this. There has been the occasional quick black bean burger meal, but for the most part I have been cooking good, wholesome food.

Today I cooked. I made a pan of green beans with thinly sliced onions and used bacon grease for my fat. I also crumbled in three slices of bacon that was divided between four servings of beans. I always feel like I have to remind myself that I have not drawn a Bright Line for quantities or fat, and that I began this path determined to not feel deprived - to not 'diet'. I don't use saturated fat very often, and I did keep it to a minimum knowing there would be little bits of bacon in the dish.

I also baked a tray of mini-meatloaves that are wonderful; they are full of turkey, pork, zucchini, onion and spices. I had my first serving of them at lunch and they are juicy and delicious. I de-fatted the ham stock I made yesterday, and it's inside the instant pot pan in the freezer for an easy dinner tomorrow. For dinner tonight I roasted broccoli, onions, and sugar peas and a pork tenderloin. There was enough left after dinner for one more meal, so that makes five meals prepped for the next few days. I always feel better having prepped meals in the fridge, then I'll cook again on Wednesday if there aren't enough leftovers from dinner tomorrow night. It does amaze me that I can load a baking sheet with veggies and it will weigh out to only three 6oz servings.

(b)  eggs on Ezekiel toast with mustard, orange
(l)  meatballs and green beans
(d)  pork loin, veggies roasted in sesame oil, 1/2C white rice with Tamari

I'm full from dinner, and while I feel I did splurge a little today between the toast and rice, I know my Bright Lines are intact. It was a busy day, most of it spent in the kitchen, but it will make my week much easier and I am content. I am also tired. But today listening to the week one module I was reminded of how hard my body is working. Between burning fat instead of glucose and detoxing from the waste being released as my cells lose their fat - well, I should be tired. And resting. And at least 'traveling easy' while I am losing weight. And drinking plenty of water, which is easy to forget in Winter.

Time to hit up my Sudoku book and brew some night time herbal tea.

BLE Boot Camp: Day 1

Today went well. I shopped for groceries in the morning, then put laundry in while I did food prep in the kitchen. I have roasted veg ready to pack into meals for the coming few days and stock is ready in the fridge for the lentil soup tomorrow that will go in the instant pot while I bake turkey\sausage meatballs in the oven. The meatballs will be full of onion and zucchini and hopefully juicy and delicious. I'm going to use the new Bragg organic sprinkles that I picked up at the store so this will be a new flavour profile than usual.

Come to think of it the last month of Saturdays have been pretty busy. It use to be I would nap on and off in between doing chores each Saturday, but weekends of late haven't been that way. Fifteen pounds doesn't seem like much, but carrying a heavy grocery bag today I realized once again that it is. My body was not happy carrying the extra weight this morning just going from the car to the kitchen. And to think I did it for years. I can hardly wait for the next fifteen to be gone and see what new changes come with that. Maybe walking in the evening? Or getting the pictures hung in my room?

I love thinking about the possibilities. I was around 200 pounds when shooting archery competitions, and that is only seventeen pounds away! How I would love to be able to pick up my bow again. And while I don't think I can while working because of my back, with BLE I will be in shape once I retire in a couple of years.

(b)  Sausage, triscuits, orange
(l)  grilled cheese, butternut squash soup, apple
(d) black bean burger, roasted squash, onions & tomatoes; chopped salad

So how do I have grilled cheese? By using Ezekiel Sesame bread and counting the cheese as my protein. And it was so delicious. This is a maintenance meal since I did use two slices of bread instead of one; but they are thin. I know that I should be strictly following the weight loss plan, but I ate what I wrote, and my intentions have not changed since beginning Bright Line Eating. I'm in this for the long haul and I don't think it's in my best interest to 'diet'.

I'm winding down for the day in my room while they are eating chocolate pudding in the living room. C is here with me and we are jumping between the hallmark channel and paw patrol.What a pair we are. Ha!