I've been 'sort of' following BLE for almost two years, and maybe, just maybe, I am finally willing to commit to following the plan. The whole plan, not just the bright lines, because 99% isn't only hard, it's just not working for me. Which isn't surprising, she wrote a plan, she didn't just throw four bright lines out there. This is what my days will look like.
This evening
Commit tomorrow's food
- b: spanish rice & eggs, banana and green grapes
- l: veggie bean soup, cream cheese, apple
- d: chili verde, 4oz rice, 10oz salad, dressing of sr. cream and tomatillo salsa
Morning habit stack
- write in gratitude journal
- read list of wants (write in notes of gratitude journal each week)
- 10 minute meditation
- take supplements
Meals; 8am, 11am, and 4pm
- Eat only and exactly what I have written down tonight; no substitutions
Nightly habit stack
- journal about the day; what worked, what I feel
- commit food
- take meds
Notes: Susan's vlog today was about curing food addition before trying to lose weight. That for some of us it is almost impossible to stick to our bright lines when caught in the vicious cycle of food addiction. I have been stuck at about 200 #s for two years after losing 30 #s, and while she was speaking to those who have lost and regained and lost and regained a significant amount of weight while doing Bright Line Eating, I feel that it applies to someone like me who is gaining and losing the same five pounds over and over and over for a long period of time. It seems to me that two years is a significant period of time. So. I decided to add a grain to my dinners, making the last meal of the day about maintenance instead of weight loss. If I am still compelled to eat in the middle of the night, I will also add a protein, but I want to start gradual - it just feels right.
There is a sense of surrender tonight, and not just tonight, I've been feeling this all day. I don't feel manic. Instead I clearly see a part of me has resigned herself to following the plan. She is sad at letting go of her rebellious ways, but it's clear she is tired of the battle, and finally willing to support me in this. She stands in black jeans, white silk tank top, and low slung boots as she stands with feet firmly planted and gazes out over the ocean from atop a bluff. She's very dramatic, running her fingers through hair that is blowing gently away from her face, and her shoulders are relaxed, resigned to giving in to my begging. I feel her removing her attention from her efforts to thwart me, and instead she is focusing far out to sea on something that is currently beyond my ken. She is beautiful, and tonight I am thankful for this vision.
My Want List
- peace of mind around food
- walk without pain
- better blood work
- size 12 jeans
Emergency Action Plan
- stop and breathe, slowly and quietly, to the count of 20
- meditate, do parts work - be curious
- journal by hand, no keyboard, how I am feeling
- call Dee
- message mastermind group
I may have missed something, but you get the gist. Tomorrow evening I will check in here, and hopefully journal about my Bright day and commit to Friday's food.
I am a Bright Liner.
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