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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

September in a nutshell

I celebrated the beginning of September with my daughter's birthday, and my head swam as it tends to at this time of year with plans for losing some weight before the holiday season. Then as my son's birthday loomed all my plans went out the window in favour of stress eating. And I disappeared for a while. This past Sunday I woke up feeling better, and could feel the depression lifting like fog off a lake. I'm having to battle my way through though, it hasn't been a clean  on and off switch, more like the dimmer switch is being turned to lighten things up a bit at a time. But at least it's turning ..... mostly ... at least I think it is ... that light isn't attached to the front of a train is it?

I slept in my own bed last night instead of the office - it was strange not having Kaylee tangled around my legs but I slept rather well and it was nice to have the house dark and quiet for a change. And yesterday I was listening to 'The Long Goodbye' by Brooks & Dunn; guess crying on the way home is better than eating in the car. Isn't that what recovery is all about? Trading food for feelings?  But it made me think that I need to let my heart break so I can get over it instead of lingering in this limbo land. If my mind is so made up why can't I just let go? God I make myself crazy.

Come on October, bring it on!

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