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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Spring Cometh

And with it all the hopes and positive energy of a new year. It always amazes me that I stray so far from my writing; it gives me such energy and helps me focus on ... living. I believe in creating positive energy cycles, yet haven't created any. I believe in the power of positive thinking, yet let my mind wander to dark places I would rather avoid. How do people sustain their rhythms of 'everyday life', where do they find their motivation to keep doing the same things over and over in a positive way? I have discovered some truths about myself; I wouldn't call myself manic depressive, although that is a temptingly easy sound bite, I am afraid it is more about the fact that without specific purpose, I tend to be lazy. What a schmuck I can be, and what an awful way to think of myself when I know I am a hard worker and a caring person underneath all this ... this ... idiocy!

I almost rode my bike to the nearby 7-11 to get the Sunday paper. I almost went to the gym to walk yesterday. Disgusting. BUT, a good friend - let's call her Lynneta - pointed me towards a blog she finds inspiring, and from there I linked to another blog by two girls who are going to spend the next year working together to omit 'binging' from their lives. And in those two blogs I found a spark of inspiration for myself from some people who are using the power of intention to accomplish great things. Specifically, I am inspired once again to find that same power within myself. I know it's all there inside me. I know I am a fighter despite the skirmishes lost, just as I know I am an athlete despite the wiggle in my arms.

I am healthier and stronger and lighter in body than I was when I started this blog. I am also healthier, lighter and stronger in mind than I was back then. It is time to build on that, it is time to bring a little bit more positive energy into my journey. For one last time I am going to copy my original blog description here, and then I am going to change it - it's time to be more positive. It just is.

"I am attempting to feel connected to a world gone wrong, and trying to rebuild a life I find hard to understand. Part of this process is searching for divinity while eating for nutrition. Recipes, information I've found helpful, weather reports,and occasional unflattering dips into my pity pool may appear upon occasion."

So, things to focus on. Writing. I love to write, I need to do it everyday whether here or working on a story. It feeds my soul, it's good for me, so I am going to write everyday.  And walking. I have a friend who shares her gym membership with me since I am without work at the moment - how generous is that??? I will take better advantage of this privilege and go work out several times a week on my time while still walking with her on her time; I should have been doing this for months instead of wallowing in my pity pool over the holiday season. Craziness. And archery. My honey got me a new bow last year and I will be out in the driveway shooting everyday there is a sunny spot for me to stand. Okay, cloudy days too, just not the storming ones; fair weather shooting is allowed in your fifth decade ... I just decided!

Writing, walking, shooting.  I guess that's me, those are the things that came to mind just now.  Despite my addiction to computer games I never once thought - how can I make more time for digital farming! Despite the great products I use, and can sell to others, I never thought how can I build a successful business. I thought of writing, and exercise, and shooting my bow. I believe if I do those things to bring some joy and balance to my life the rest will all fall into place. I believe. Wow. I do believe. After everything, that is good to know.

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