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Friday, October 24, 2008

'Tis almost the Season

This time of year my SO travels, a lot. The past couple of years were rough for me while he was away, punctuated with melt downs and stress eating ad naseum. This year, as it used to be, I am once again looking forward to my quiet time alone. Hopefully I will try some yoga, take lots of walks with our little dog Kaylee, and make healthy meals. But the fear of pain has receded, and when the moments of grief come I will be able to feel them knowing I will survive. I wrote something this morning that probably prompted this entry, I wrote "face it, then erase it." And I didn't mean to make the feeling disappear once I had faced them, but rather to overwhelm them with positive thinking and plans for my future.

To catch up before I continue on, everything is done except the whole clearing off the desk business. The yard is getting green, and I even have some Mums flowering despite the whole dehydration ritual I put them through. The baby shower was a success and I won my division at the archery tournament. I had a great visit with my friends in Texas, and was even inspired to write a simple children's story based on the 3 yr old twins' experience of hurricane Ike. I think I will keep writing bed time stories and see where that takes me.

Now I'm looking at the space of time between yesterday and Thanksgiving and have decided to go back to basics and follow the six week eating plan Dr. Fuhrman suggests for losing weight. I am healthier mentally, have been leaning into nutrition for about a year, and feel ready to make a positive move ... downwards! In May I started posting my food journals and getting great support at, and finally it just feels like I am poised for success. 7#'s down and 50 or so to go. I have some physical support from my Orenda Balance Spray, and start each day with a shot of their Oki superfood drink. Using this has really helped move me off the couch, and I am going more than ever, which feels great. I've been walking more, the knee I sprained a year ago last March while learning to surf is noticeably better, and I don't miss my bad moods. Anyway, back to these next six weeks, I'm looking forward to eating healthy, and exercising; the idea is that I will be better equipped to face the holiday season. I accept that it will still be hard, but I know too there will be moments of joy and beauty, friendship and family, and best of all a new baby. My DD is due the beginning of November, and I am very excited about that.

So this post is an affirmation of looking forward, of taking care of myself, and being in control of my actions for the next six weeks. ...God I'm pathetic, but hey, whatever it takes!

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