Happy Birthday, Joey. I still hold so much love in my heart for you, and often find myself wishing that your next adventure is/was a good one. Better than what you found here. Better than the harsh hand you played while with us. And I cry to think of how we all might have struggled had you not left when you did, because to think of you having stayed and found a way to thrive is just too heartbreaking.
I still dream of you sometimes, not as often as I would like, but enough to remember you in every detail. And I will just sit here for a moment in this pain, missing you, and being a little mad at the universe. Because what else can I do?
I'll be okay tomorrow, because that too is how it has to be. To just go on, and try to be here for your sister and Cal and Alan. I love them so much, thank heavens or I probably wouldn't still be here waiting around. Which in itself is a rather sad thought, but ultimately true.
Wherever you are, take it easy, and know we are loving you.
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