I'm still getting over Covid, and the lethargy is alarming. I don't want to write, I just want to lie down and rest all of the time. And I will get back to that after reviewing my notes for Module 3.
Module 3
JFTP: Just follow the plan and surround yourself with others who are doing the same, build an identity of someone succeeding long term. This is difficult, because a part of me doesn't accept, or want to accept, that I am a food addict. It just feels wrong despite all science to the contrary. I think about the years spent eating for nutrition and how it felt right, organic so to say.
Gratitude: Every day is a gift, be grateful for it. I feel that I've always lived in gratitude, especially for the natural beauty around me, but also for the creature comforts. I think this comes from having Summers at Lake Arrowhead and then losing it when I moved North. Living in San Francisco with little means I saw how fortunate I had been, and to not take things for granted. That lesson has stayed with me my whole life. What I discovered in BLE is that I rebel against writing it down. Yes the sunset is gorgeous, yes I treasure every hug from the grandkids, and yes I appreciate that I have the means to keep a warm bed and good food on the table. But writing it down? It doesn't feel sincere anymore, but forced, and so I will keep my gratitude where it belongs, ever present in the daily aspects of my life.
Actions: Learning to trust myself by watching myself do positive things. There is science about observed behavior, and learning to trust that we value self-care is a big step in the right direction for confidence. Every meal is an opportunity to feel better, and to see ourselves feeling better, reinforcing the behavior of remaining Bright.
Community: Be someone who belongs. Much like writing here I found that posting too much makes my hyper critical and I end up whining. But I do like signing on and encouraging others, and hopefully I will bond with the group in Bootie Camp. The founder of our group feels like a kindred spirit, so that is a good start.
Omega 3s: The brain needs them, and can't get enough when it's overloaded with Omega 6s - mostly from the processed vegetable (soy) oils in fast food, snacks, and most packaged food in the center isles of the grocery store. And there is a direct link between this imbalance and depression. Self diagnosed with a lifelong low-grade depression this makes sense. Years ago I started adding flax meal and spinach to my morning smoothies along with blueberries and it really made a difference in my moods and attitude. So when I feel blue I know exactly what to do, I just need to make it a habit to stay out of the danger zone. One of the things I wonder about is adding those smoothies back to my daily food despite the science against blending meals. And I am considering an algae supplement.
Chewing: This is the most interesting part of the module to me, that chewing promotes the production of neurons in the hippocampus - in other words, making new brain cells. Lord knows I need those and I think about it every time I have a plate of raw veggies in front of me now. I don't remember this from the original boot camp, so I either missed it, or it has been added to the module since 2019.
Compassion: Easy to have with others, and learning to have some towards myself has been a learning process. But I do practice self-compassion now, and it has become part of how I rezoom. There is no longer shame around doing less than perfect. And it turns out community triggers self-compassion, another reason support is so vital.
Meals: SBT talks about regular meal times, and that is something I have been practicing. In the beginning it was easy; breakfast on the way to work, a packed lunch at 11am, and premade dinner (often) upon arriving home around 4:30. This made a natural fasting time of 5pm to 7am. Now that I work from home I eat at 8am, 11am, and 4pm giving me a slightly larger fasting window of about 16 hours. The problem is when I add that fourth meal after work around 9pm. Not good, and something I need to keep working on with my parts, because it's not eating from hunger - it's something else - and while I know I've made progress it's also become apparent that it's not a one and done healing. You have to keep doing the work for it to keep working. Ha! Anyway, I like the idea of healing while I sleep and of having a longer fasting window; another thing that just feels right.
Permission to be human: My reflections on this module is that it's all about accountability, and it's most obvious here where we are to dissect exactly what led up to eating off plan and what we learned from it. I've never been good at this, hating that I need to examine my actions and be accountable for them. It's much easier to just NOT do that. But if you always do what you always did you'll always get what you always got. A great maxim from network marketing days, and true for everything. So I will try to be accountable to myself and the group, and to learn from my mistakes, or slips, or whatever I am calling it these days. Mostly they are just, "oh well" moments - and very deadly. So this is my lesson, and I will work on it.
That's all for now, I've run out of energy.
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