This was the sentence in today's interview that hit home. I have heard this before in other ways, but never in this specific line up of words before. One day at a time I choose me. I choose to stay on my path.
If the link works, here it is. You can watch the recording of the interview with Marquese here.
206 yesterday morning, still a tortoise but steadily moving in the right direction for a total of 26.6 pounds since October. Really, almost nine months I've been doing this? Some lose this much weight in their 8 week bootcamp. Days are Bright and nights not so much. Hearing so much about 'parts work' and why I have such a rebel inside, I have started to visualize the girl that I was and try to convince her to just let it go. Yes, it was horrible, but it's over and we shouldn't be punishing ourselves over it. Then I move on to the woman I was, and how horrible it was, and in calming loving words and actions try to comfort her and tell her to move on, that there is still life ahead and we need to stop hurting ourselves.
It's hard doing this, to remember details on purpose and feel the anger and pain and frustration that comes in tow. But I am hoping that I can convince them to join me in moving forward, because I am tired of being tethered to past suffering.
God, I feel like Sybil trying to connect the inner selves to become whole, to be integrated. And I know it's the rebel part that screams, "This is ridiculous, shut up and have a cookie already!"
I'm still loving spending days with the grand kids, even though I should be doing a better job. But that will come once I am really only working four hours each day at the 'real' job. I'm tired, and everyday convince myself all over again that I can do this. LOL, shades of 50 First Dates. Ha!
Life goes on, and I am still the girl who does the best she can each day. I don't give up.
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