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Monday, June 16, 2014

Stress Writing - Let it go

About Work. What a serious waste of time and energy. Well, not really; we spend an awful lot of time at work. Well, most of us anyway. So conflict resolution is in my background. I know to first let it go, then if you can't address the 'challenge' with the person involved, and if there is still no resolution, finally go to the boss. But the boss is the owner, and I don't want to throw my compadre under the bus. I want my department and my little office to be a place of positive energy , I want us all to be productive and ready for growth. Is this asking too much? Am I too much of a goody two shoes, do I expect too much from others? Am I the one that needs to slow down and take my time and not give my full attention to work? But, I am being paid to do that, am I not? I want to be proud of how I earn my living, do I not?

So I let it go, and let it go, and let it go until I am afraid I am going to blurt out something inappropriate at the worst of times. Like when we have our department meeting on Wednesday with a visiting consultant. Finally today I quietly shut the office door and tried to have a constructive conversation. With a wall. I am sure they believe that saying 'Ok' and refusing to engage is their way of disputing my claim; even my calling them on shutting down and refusing to engage was wasted effort.  In their defense they may believe they are avoiding a fight, or embarrassed by the veracity of my claims and unwilling to admit it.

I had waited as long as I could, and I may well have waited for ever for all the good it did. But I am tired of the situation rattling around in my brain and taking up valuable real estate. When I am not at work, I want to be NOT AT WORK. So I left work an hour early, and now I will try again to let it go. I have better things to think about don't I?

I am calm, but curious if there will be any fall out tomorrow. I'm guessing they are a no show.

And no, I am not signing that song! Now that's in my head, great!

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