An exercise in futility

A laptop to work on, and a pallet still reeling from fudge, I wonder if I want to write. Part of me yearns for my fingers to dance across the letters, while Ms. Depresso finds the intention futile if not downright ridiculous. Maybe later.

I wonder how many more months will slip by.....

Listening to Katy and Dani chat on their 63rd podcast (Movement Matters) as I eat purple potatoes and make an entry here. Yes, we multitask.

Also today to eat was a banana to break my fast, a red grapefruit for snack, and raw orange & yellow sweet peppers with my potatoes at lunch.

My hope is to make bean soup for dinner using the red chard that came in our Farm Fresh box this morning. (Farm Fresh)

Time to listen.

A mood strikes

I was out of coffee and cream this morning so opted to drive through McD's on the way to work. Sitting looking at the menu I decided that today is the day to revisit vegetarianism. I ordered a medium decaff, two cream, and a yogurt parfait. I by no means considered this a healthy choice, just one without meat and a step in the right direction.

Lunch was a drive though at Carl's Jr. and again, I opted for a taco salad no meat. Unfortunately they also did not give me beans! I know I will be hungry in a few hours but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

It's strange I feel like writing this down, and I don't know if it means anything, but I'm just going with the flow.

Ocular Migraine - 1

I need to start tracking these to see if I can avoid them.

6:30 Decaff coffee at home with lowfat mile and sugar
7:00 Toasted whole grain  Dave's bread w\ PB & flax
7:30 Arrive at work and crystal begins upon booting computer

2016 Arrives

Another year relentlessly begins the countdown to New Year's Eve. We are inspired to make lists, clean out our refrigerators, and join a gym. Well, not me so much, but the 'We' of the world. And this thought made me wonder what my other January 1st posts looked like so I went back and looked. There wasn't one for every year, and like this post most of them were not made on January 1st but on the 2nd; here they are in no particular order. Always about eating and exercising and obsessing about food. What a waste of, well, everything measurable; time, energy I guess.

I am just as tired as ever, just as mopey, nothing much has changed. I talk myself into a positive mood one day and the next I am back to exhausted and wondering why I take the time to try and care. 

In the news this week Oprah has purchased a 10% share of Weight Watchers for $40 Million . I'm not sure what this says about anything but I find it interesting is some small way.

The kids are off for breakfast, and I am back to dishes and laundry I guess. At least it keeps me out of bed. This is not the me I like at all, so I am gone and will try another day.

Half way through December

November disappeared in a swamp of disinterest (that being said, Thanksgiving was nice)  and December is scrambling by as I try try try to hold up my end of the holiday season. Dance recital, check. Christmas shopping, check. Decorating, check.

My wished for lentil soup is warming in the microwave as I type, some of the leavings of the mornings juice dancing about between and admongst the little green lentils; the fiber of the beets, carrots and greens blended into submission along with the caramelized onions and all of the left over cauliflower making a thick and wholesome stoup. A quick taste test confirms the resulting dish will be rich and satisfying once a bit of salt and a lot of fresh ground pepper has been added.

The wished for storm is a catastrophe of dead leaves and mud as the wind  and rain wreak havoc in the branches of the winter trees before landing on dirt instead of grass, in much part due to the continuing drought. Not that one can think much of the drought today as the water pours down and down and down making my trek to the green waste bin most uninviting and the idea of snuggling in front of a fire most desirable. Maybe later, collecting dry wood is also not high on my agenda for the day. Having already juiced, made soup, and folded the laundry from yesterday I am feeling more like a nap than another task.

I should mention that I am eight weeks out from hand surgery and, well, recovering. A trip to PT Friday was most enlightening as I have been doing my stretching and massaging entirely wrong. I anticipate a quicker recovery now that I have what I hope to be the correct data for such.

Work  goes on, same challenges, more growth. I really don't want to talk about it. I am grateful to have a job, to be able to earn my keep, and I am looking forward to a new roof being installed sometime rather sooner than later; like maybe after this current storm blows through.

Enough. It feels good to type, but empty in a weird sort of way, as though I should be typing something lasting rather than ephemeral.

Time to stir the soup.

ps  The doctor says a year before I should push my hand against a bow. I wish this could be a goal - lose weight, get strong, start hiking, and at the end pick up my bow to shoot. I wish.

Warm Nights and Warmer Days

I want Fall, I want the crisp Autumnal air to breeze through my bedroom window and raise goosebumps along my arms and feel the delight of snuggling into warm flannel sheets. I want to smell dead leaves and candles and fireplace smoke. I want to wear a sweater to work and boots and make rich savory soups full of greens and lentils and caramelized onions.

Instead the Summer lingers as it always does in September, barely 20° between day and evening temperatures; sweaters in the mornings only, too tired to shower at night and going to bed warm and sticky and cranking the AC down to feel some relief as there is no mitigating breeze from outside. I wonder, is it worse to watch the weather or whine about it. I have obviously pitched my tent in the later camp.

But I do need to spend a moment to express the awe of watching a super moon set the day after our recent Lunar Eclipse. So large and delicate, pale and charming as it races towards the foothills; there I will turn North and lose her company on this most auspicious of mornings.

 <>.

Here is her Pic.

~~~~~~~~~~

But any further thoughts I was wanting to share on that day were forgotten and now it is the First of October. The weather is still in the 70's and still too warm at night but that is not what propelled me to write on this particular night. 

I tend to sit at night and scroll through the movie channels and set to record anything that catches my fancy. Then I have 'go to's' on sleepless nights or early mornings like today. Prelude To A Kiss was the catch of the night and I caught my breath at the following point in the movie.

“Never to be squandered.....the miracle of another human being.” 

― Craig Lucas, Prelude to a Kiss

If only we could all embrace that simple message it would solve so many challenges we face as a world community. There I go dreaming again. Silly me.

On that note I exit stage left.