Bright Line Eating; week 17 in review

Another 1.2  lbs gone this week; and only another 1.2 to go until I reach the 20lb mark. I've never ever lost this much while on a 'diet', I think I topped out at 12lbs as the most ever lost while dieting.  I did lose 50lbs once over the course of three years while eating for nutrition, but for most of that time I was out of work and had time each day to shop and prep and cook. But once back to work it was not sustainable. The same muscles I use to chop veggies were being used at the keyboard, and my back pain would flair and pinch.

It really was a series of unfortunate events, going back to work for Open Heart Kitchen I would start my shift by assigning volunteers to portion and wrap all of the bakery items donated by local restaurants and grocery stores. That was the beginning of  a downward spiral with sugar and flour. At the time my 2nd job was in project management  that kept me driving all over the Bay Area, and it didn't take long to start driving through for fast food while on the road.  I did try to make 'healthy' choices; bean burritos from the Green Chilie's menu at Carl's Jr., or  veggie burgers from Burger King. I knew they were still awful for me, but I was busy, tired, and really depressed at having two part time jobs that each paid less than $15/hr. I mean really.

But those three years I didn't feel like I was dieting, I was eating for nutrition and feeding my body. And it's those years that gave me the foundation to succeed now. Because again, I do not feel like I am dieting. My focus is on healing my brain and taking care of myself the best I can. Even when I splurge or break a Bright Line it's a momentary thing, not a dramatic Oh My God I've failed! No, it's just me being human and I have never been so ready to forgive myself and keep moving forward. I love the quote they used in Frozen, about doing the next right thing. That was me yesterday after having the chocolate, I was immediately ready to do the next right thing. So I drove home hungry, and shopped, and waited to eat a Bright Line dinner.

I'll have to check in later about today's meals. I had a yummy breakfast but need to cook. There are black eyed peas and knockworst to make, there are garbanzos and celery for lettuce wraps, and beans and tomatoes to make soup. I'm just not sure what I will cook today for dinner. There are left overs from dinner last night that I can have for lunch, so no hurry and no stress.

It's beautiful out, in the 60's and sunny. We are chatting about how we want to set up the garden this year, and have seeds to get in our little milk-jug green houses. So fun! The dirt patch will be melons and squash, we'll have a raised bed of corn, one for tomatoes, one for peppers, and the fourth is still a mystery  Then snap peas and maybe beans too to grow against a rail on the fence. Oh, and we are going to splurge and buy a strawberry pot - they were so delicious last summer and we all want those again, just more of them!
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1 pint black eyed peas
3 carrots chopped
1 bunch celery heart, leaves and all
1 really large onion, diced and sauteed
3C chopped green cabbage
12 oz diced Knockwurst
32 oz canned diced tomatoes
1 qt chicken stock
21 spice TJ's seasoning, Oregano, 3 bay leaves

Bring to a boil and simmer 2.5 hours

I didn't check the ingredients in the seasoning mix, but for sure there must be salt because the soup is salty. Not in a bad way, just intense compared to how I've been cooking since starting on blood pressure meds half a dozen years ago or thereabouts. R roasted sweet potatoes and onions, and I pulled turkey meatballs out of the freezer to make a couple more meals with my share for a total of six new lunches or dinners, plus there are two chili dishes left over from last week and two oatmeal breakfast dishes in the fridge.

(b)  Raisin bread, cheese, banana
(l)  Knackwurst and corn
(d) Lasagna, cabbage & romaine salad
(d) Half a brownie

Up to now I have been able to abstain from eating the brownies that show up so often. Fresh baked and full of chocolate chips it was just too much. And honestly, I usually do have a little bite of something on Saturdays - a sort of treat on the day I weigh-in. So I guess I still do play head games with the scale after all - knowing I have the full week ahead to 'be good'. SIGH.

Juicing for 60: days eleven & twelve

Friday: Worked all day, then home to veg in front of the tv. Eventually I ended up with popcorn, a movie, and a squiggly five year old. At one point R and I had all the animals (4) and the child on our one little couch, but everyone except A was too tired to care if we were crowded.

Saturday: This morning A and I cuddled on  my bed in front of the  tv while I sipped hot tea and she told me all about how we were going to go out and water the tomatoes. Welcome to the weekend.

But first we watched the end of the movie, and then we juiced.

Cucumber, asparagus stalks, green apple, baby kale, lemon, kale stalks, and five little strawberries. TART ALERT! I always taste the juice before filling my bottles. This morning we added a little freshly squeezed pineapple juice and some of the fruit/kale blend I had purchased at Costco. Now it was tart but also delicious. It is important to keep the ratio in favor of the greens, but it must also be drinkable or what's the point.

Out the to brick  patio where we settled on the chaise lounge and read first about a loathsome dragon and then the adventure of a tiny mouse.  Watering was next and with a little help A did the tomatoes and flowers, also filling her small watering can so it was ready for her small flower pot.

Today I hope to finish the work I began outside earlier this week so that the front of the house is welcoming and clean (no spiderwebs or spilled dirt.) At some point I need to pick up a miniature rose bush for the planter, but I will be sure to NOT do that when I am hungry to avoid temptation. The weather is cooperating, only 85 today is projected, and tonight there will be gazing to be done at the full moon. It is especially close this month and should be gorgeous. See Super Moon.

Laundry, dishes, bathroom - necessary evils to battle for the greater good. (A and I share a bathroom.)

Sounds like a busy day, but tomorrow....tomorrow I am being treated to a massage and very much looking forward to it. Thank you Miss C.

Green Juice & Grilled Cheese & Tacos

I love this idea of adding nutrition to each day and then just eating meals without too much snacking or eating fast food. Easy on the weekend, but I am in a great frame of mind to continue on in the same way tomorrow. Monday, a seventh of my life.

Green juice for breakfast: same blend as yesterday

Grilled Cheese for Brunch: Sprouted whole grain bread, jack cheese & butter

Snack: Apple, chopped salad with kale & pepitas

Dinner: Black Bean Tacos with guacamole, pico de gallo, and a smear of sour cream

Full but not stuffed, and feel like I got in adequate nutrition for the day.

Puttered doing small chores in the morning, took a cat nap in the sun, and another short nap curled up in my bed, and basically spent the day in my pajamas.  Feeling a little more energetic tonight, and plan on juicing again in the morning.

Keep the nutrients coming, movement will follow, and weight will leave. That's the plan. Again.

BTW: the tomatoes growing in the back yard are thriving; they have quadrupled or more in size.

Food and exercise to the rescue!

The day improves.

Specifically corn pancakes at Denica's where they were having a fund raiser for A's school. Delicious. Upon arriving home and taking a quick assessment of the work to do in the back yard I decided a trip to buy flowers was in order first- incentive, or a bribe - so that there was something to look forward to after the cleaning up of the cement patio. And a tomatoe plant too was in the basket to come home, no apologies for the 'e'.

After an hour I am exhausted and instead of pushing through I am allowing myself a break to cool down and hydrate before going back out to work. I'm in the worst shape of my life and don't want to collapse doing yard work! But my mental health has recovered it's Pollyanna demeanor; it's too bad we can't remember the hill to come while wallowing in the depths, that would be ever so helpful.

To water, to put my feet up, and then back to work.

Final update: that was the pattern all day, work, hydrate and a brief rest - then repeat. A long productive day at last! R and I made a huge dent in the back yard, and are both sore and weary tonight. Most of the new flowers are freshly potted, there is a  junk pile ready for the dump, and things are looking up. A vast improvement. Hopefully tomorrow I can get out there after work each day and keep up the momentum.

Side note: the orange tree is thick with fragrant, white, waxy flowers and a'buzzing with bees. Wonderful but scary, we steered clear.

An Eye for Fashion

A few years ago when my Mom was reorganizing her garage I inherited some of the playthings from my youth; specifically Betsy McCall and her trunk of homemade clothes courtesy of the aforementioned Mother. And like the pack rat I am I saved them. For 'A'. And today she spent a couple of hours playing dress up. Asking me for help with snaps and the occasional pair of slacks or hook and eye challenge. But mostly she had Betsy trying on one outfit after another, even draping a shall around her shoulders at one point. And while it has been clear for some time she is fashion savvy, it really hit home today that she has inherited the 'eye'. While I don't snap pictures the way I once did, I still have a good eye for composition and colour. My siblings are respectively an engineer and an architect, my daughter a graphic artist, and my Mom has a degree in interior design while her sister was an artist and a professor of literature. I believe it stems in large part from my Maternal Grandfather Maynard L Parker, who made photographing homes his life's work - 30 years of it at House Beautiful. He had an amazing eye for light, contrast & perspective that brought life to his photographs of houses and turned them into homes that leapt off the pages where they were published. And this evening watching my granddaughter I was so happy to think of this connection between her and a man I loved dearly.

We had a wonderful afternoon together, she and I; planting in the back yard the seedlings we had started inside earlier this month. Sharing glasses of freshly juiced oranges, sweet potatoes, carrots, ginger and spinach on the back patio. Drawing colourful designs on the stack of bricks in the driveway out front, and finally settling down in the living room to play quietly with the dolls.

I did get some more sorting, dusting, packing, tossing and cleaning done earlier in the day, I am glad to say. Tomorrow should see the last of my 'stuff' moved out from the Master bedroom, and hopefully I will continue in my office the rest of the week. I think someone wrote a book a few years ago on the connection between clutter and weight; we'll see. I'm just ever so grateful that I am feeling pleased rather than morose, as my improved mood continues.

Dinner: Microwave popcorn and a Vicodin. And yes, while I wish my back didn't hurt so much, it does feel good to be tired. To feel like I have accomplished something.

Thank You Google, I Think

I woke dreaming of garden enclosures and was amazed with this greeting from Google upon opening my browser; fun or scary? In either case I went about my searching and came upon this delightful idea.

Would it keep the jumpiest of the dogs out? No, but it might discourage him.. And I could treat the tanbark to keep away the cats, I think. At about $800 this is not going to happen, but I printed out the picture and I am sure with enough input we will be able to create something similar. Imagine the door to the garage in the middle of the back with a trellis on each side instead of one solid trellis across the back. Then we could put two 4'x8' raised garden kits, one on each side under a trellis. I'll have to go measure, but I think we could add a small path around the outside so we have more access to the plants, and then surround the whole thing with a Roxbury Garden System fence with the gate at the front like in the picture. Maybe. An idea worth exploring. Because I have mostly decided against using the railroad ties; I'm waiting to see who wins, the earthitarian or the penny pincher who are duking it out inside.

So Happy Birthday to me. My mood improvement was apparently not a fluke and each weekend I get something done. Today the girls are coming over and I foresee either\and a trip to the pond so Miss A can feed the ducks and a visit to home depot to look at garden stuff. 

I also intend to start packing tomorrow - one month till the 'big change' in my life. And no, I am not ready physically or emotionally so I'm letting this one play out one day at a time and trying to not dwell on anything at all. It's all good, as MF would say.