Tonight's moon is 'blue' and huge and gorgeous and the man in the moon is intent as he watches over us; weird to have loved him my whole life while still thinking of the moon as feminine from my studies in the Humanities. I suppose a man can live within the orb of a woman; happens all the time.
M called for us to come outside; I had forgotten and on his cue we all migrated out to the driveway to ooh and aww over the immensity of our satellite. The three of them walked to the end of the court with A in the lead hoping for an unobstructed view while I stayed put in front of the house enjoying how the trees framed the ascension of this glowing tangerine miracle.
And once again I am reminded that there are some things that are beautiful enough to make this whole living in human form thing worthwhile. As my eyes feasted on not just the moon but the dark shadows of my little family strolling along at the end of the court I was filled with the much sought after but elusive shade of contentment. The cool evening breeze quickly cooling off my bad mood, I lingered waiting for them to return, to hoist A once more into my arms for a better view, and then head inside with my tribe. Primal, that is what I felt for one glorious moment. Connected, worthy.
I think I must go have one more look before turning in for the night.
Friday, July 31, 2015
TGIFF
I ended up getting A early from daycare yesterday and the two of us made dinner together last night; her grandpa Jim's favorite chicken recipe (how I wish they could have met) mashed potatoes, caesar salad, fruit salad and corn on the cob. We rocked it. And Lemon Oreo's for dessert.
Tonight they are going out for kabobs and I am taking some time off. I've been fighting something off at work all week, maybe just a bad case of aversion, but I am relishing the idea of waking up in the morning, then stretching & turning over to snuggle back in and go back to sleep. I've put in a long week of trying hard to be helpful and I need a break.
I have got to tend to the roses this weekend before they die. I know most plants thrive after a period of stress, but I think this is cutting it close. I had to drop by the water district on business today and saw they had a link posted to www.loseyourlawn.com which reminded me I wanted to get started on a pilot program for our HOA. Maybe. But at the least I need to irrigate around the base of the roses and get some bark or something down to help hold in the moisture. I miss the colour outside my bedroom window.
Time for some Friday evening coffee ice cream and a movie while the house is quiet. My Bad. And I am feeling the need for a weekend reboot; too many dessert lately and not enough greens. Again, My Bad.
God I wish it would cool off again.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Helping out
I made dinner for the kids a third night in a row just because I love them that much. They are both busy right now, and A is a handful in the evenings, so this is my way of helping. I'm also doing laundry mid-week just so I won't have to do it on the weekend. We're in another heat wave after our brief dip into the 80's so it makes more sense to run the machines at night anyway.
I've been tired again in the mornings and driving through for breakfast served with a heaping side of guilt. I know I have to make good decisions to feel good about myself but it's too exhausting to think about just now for some reason. This is probably the dip after my energetic weekend; but I am thankful I am just tired and not out for the count and lost deep in a pity pool somewhere.
I plan on juicing pineapple and grapefruit in the morning, but we'll see how it goes. I love even the idea of those flavours together and wonder that I haven't done this before. It's nice that juicing has settled into a regular part of my eating regime without any big goals; just a shot of nutrition a couple or few times each week.
So in other words, same old same old, nothing new to report here. Speaking of which it is time to reenact my nighttime ritual of tea and a movie in bed.
I've been tired again in the mornings and driving through for breakfast served with a heaping side of guilt. I know I have to make good decisions to feel good about myself but it's too exhausting to think about just now for some reason. This is probably the dip after my energetic weekend; but I am thankful I am just tired and not out for the count and lost deep in a pity pool somewhere.
I plan on juicing pineapple and grapefruit in the morning, but we'll see how it goes. I love even the idea of those flavours together and wonder that I haven't done this before. It's nice that juicing has settled into a regular part of my eating regime without any big goals; just a shot of nutrition a couple or few times each week.
So in other words, same old same old, nothing new to report here. Speaking of which it is time to reenact my nighttime ritual of tea and a movie in bed.
Monday, July 27, 2015
And the price
For my two good days I paid with a hellish Monday, one complication after another arising until we were giddy with forced stress relief; you can cry or laugh - we choose to laugh. The final stroke was a scathing email from my boss requesting an explanation for something that happened before I was ever hired. I told him where he could go look for his answers. I wasn't actually that crude, but did point him in the direction of those who may know the answers and did tell him to ask them. Then my eight hours being up I left for the day. My SIL put it all in perspective - hey, you can tell him anything as long as you back it up with a smiley face.
The new texting protocol - say what you mean and soften the blow with an icon showing you are smiling while calling them a dick.
I came home and focused my energy into preparing the kids a pot roast for dinner; I was thanked and complimented sufficient unto the meal and earned some literal brownie points from M.
I am so looking forward to seeing my email in the morning at the office. But in the meantime SYTYCD is on and I am signing out.
The new texting protocol - say what you mean and soften the blow with an icon showing you are smiling while calling them a dick.
I came home and focused my energy into preparing the kids a pot roast for dinner; I was thanked and complimented sufficient unto the meal and earned some literal brownie points from M.
I am so looking forward to seeing my email in the morning at the office. But in the meantime SYTYCD is on and I am signing out.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
A good two days
It was 6:19pm on the car clock when my oomph vanished in the wakes of a large drawn out yawn. I had three bags of groceries with me in the car, and plans to roast veggies when I got home; enchiladas were on my mind but I knew in that moment that I wouldn't be making them tonight. I did get the groceries put away and an ear of corn in the microwave before I crashed in front of the tv with a lemon yogurt.
But my mood and energy had combined to keep me outside on and off most of the day and it was no wonder I was ready to wind down. Another branch sawn off the privet tree and broken into little pieces for the cart - which is now jam packed full - and I feel really good about the dent I made in back. Then a longer than normal shower, some more tv, and then off to the store for supplies. I have fruits and greens to juice, veggies, corn tortillas and enchilada sauce for me, and a pork shoulder and a pot roast for the kids. I was on the way home when the formerly mentioned 6:19 incident occurred.
I haven't done much but watch tv for the last several hours. I had made a cup of Yerba Matte around 4 and now I am twitchy and not falling asleep, but have no desire to put my apparent nervous energy to work. I have to remind myself that it was a good day, that I kept moving for most of it, and didn't have any ice cream. That's a win, right?
Tomorrow begins another work week, and I had to spend a few minutes refilling both my am and pm vitamin boxes with the daily allotments of pills; what a tragic way to ear mark the passing of time.
I am thankful that I had this beautiful weekend, that I was strong enough to work outside, that the combination of work and wind and sun made me feel alive and worthy and younger than I have felt in a while. That is what I am focusing on, not the other crap.
Thank heavens for the cool breeze coming in my window and the clean water close at hand. I am so very grateful; despite my meandering mind my heart is steady and I am ready for another Monday.
But my mood and energy had combined to keep me outside on and off most of the day and it was no wonder I was ready to wind down. Another branch sawn off the privet tree and broken into little pieces for the cart - which is now jam packed full - and I feel really good about the dent I made in back. Then a longer than normal shower, some more tv, and then off to the store for supplies. I have fruits and greens to juice, veggies, corn tortillas and enchilada sauce for me, and a pork shoulder and a pot roast for the kids. I was on the way home when the formerly mentioned 6:19 incident occurred.
I haven't done much but watch tv for the last several hours. I had made a cup of Yerba Matte around 4 and now I am twitchy and not falling asleep, but have no desire to put my apparent nervous energy to work. I have to remind myself that it was a good day, that I kept moving for most of it, and didn't have any ice cream. That's a win, right?
Tomorrow begins another work week, and I had to spend a few minutes refilling both my am and pm vitamin boxes with the daily allotments of pills; what a tragic way to ear mark the passing of time.
I am thankful that I had this beautiful weekend, that I was strong enough to work outside, that the combination of work and wind and sun made me feel alive and worthy and younger than I have felt in a while. That is what I am focusing on, not the other crap.
Thank heavens for the cool breeze coming in my window and the clean water close at hand. I am so very grateful; despite my meandering mind my heart is steady and I am ready for another Monday.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Status: Brain set to normal, Body on go go go
Waking up to a very special and rare feeling of normalcy I was happy about everything. Optimistic about eating well, moving all day, accomplishing tasks, I dressed in cut off blue jeans and a white t-shirt and headed to the kitchen where I made my decaf and cleaned the juicer.
Heading out back I picked a dozen small oranges from my Valencia Orange tree and coming in I proceeded to rinse and skin them in preparation of juicing later. Later because A was up and I was helping her with her hair. She is doing a better job of detangling all the time, but I like to give it a once over when she is through battling. Back to the kitchen to skin the last lime and half a lemon, chop up cucumbers, one small beet and one green apple, and a thumb of ginger. A box of baby kale and power greens went in the juicer first, followed by everything else, mixing the harder veggies and the squishy fruit to get an optimal amount of juice.
Dark purple (mix magenta and brown to visualize) and tangy I ended up with two large pickle jars and one med jar of juice to last me the day; I will save a jar for R as a pick me up when she returns later.
Exhausted I sat and watched the end of a movie, during which I found myself eating a small bowl of pumpkin granola, diced fresh banana and almond milk. TV is NOT my friend when it comes to eating habits. But there was nothing wrong with what I had, and it provided the energy for what came next. An hour of pruning and shaping trees, and cutting up small branches to maximize space in the green waste cart. Sweaty and loose from the mornings work I am afraid to sit down for very long and let my muscles tighten up. I'm going to gulp some water, take a swig of juice, and head back up to finish the crepe myrtle tree out front after I finish up here. Oh, and the trees were all given a drink from the hose. I am so loving this day; a nice breeze and 73 outside on it's way up to 82. Perfect weather. For anything. And a match to my normal brain. I love feeling this happiness, this lack of bitter, this can do attitude. And my usual prayer goes up to heaven - please let this last, please.
Maybe it's all the Chia I've been adding to my juices.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, who knew I could still climb half way up an eight foot ladder and cut a dead branch off one of the privet trees using my limb saver chainsaw??? I Rock. A helped me break up all of the small dead branches and load them into the cart. It was already 3/4 full from the morning's work and now it is full - for the moment - if I am not disabled in the morning I'll pack it down and do another branch. Because of course now that the large dead branch is gone I can see three more live ones that need to go in order for the tree to have a pleasing shape again. God that felt good. I am soaked with sweat, sawdust and a small patch of blood on my ankle from when I accidentally knocked the saw from where I had balanced it on the top of the fence. Yes I was up that high. And if I can do this then maybe I can get on the roof and do the back gutters. But not today. A month of days like this and I could have the back yard in good shape again. If only.
I had a large chopped salad with seeds and chick peas for lunch while watching the rest of the Pacifier with A, and I'll finish my juice this afternoon. There is fresh organic pasta in the fridge and marinara sauce from TJ's in the cupboard if i need something solid later. But for now I am calling it a good day, and once I cool down I'm heading for the shower and some clean comfy clothes assuming I can find something loose to wear.
Did I already say I Rock? Because today I definitely do.
Heading out back I picked a dozen small oranges from my Valencia Orange tree and coming in I proceeded to rinse and skin them in preparation of juicing later. Later because A was up and I was helping her with her hair. She is doing a better job of detangling all the time, but I like to give it a once over when she is through battling. Back to the kitchen to skin the last lime and half a lemon, chop up cucumbers, one small beet and one green apple, and a thumb of ginger. A box of baby kale and power greens went in the juicer first, followed by everything else, mixing the harder veggies and the squishy fruit to get an optimal amount of juice.
Dark purple (mix magenta and brown to visualize) and tangy I ended up with two large pickle jars and one med jar of juice to last me the day; I will save a jar for R as a pick me up when she returns later.
Exhausted I sat and watched the end of a movie, during which I found myself eating a small bowl of pumpkin granola, diced fresh banana and almond milk. TV is NOT my friend when it comes to eating habits. But there was nothing wrong with what I had, and it provided the energy for what came next. An hour of pruning and shaping trees, and cutting up small branches to maximize space in the green waste cart. Sweaty and loose from the mornings work I am afraid to sit down for very long and let my muscles tighten up. I'm going to gulp some water, take a swig of juice, and head back up to finish the crepe myrtle tree out front after I finish up here. Oh, and the trees were all given a drink from the hose. I am so loving this day; a nice breeze and 73 outside on it's way up to 82. Perfect weather. For anything. And a match to my normal brain. I love feeling this happiness, this lack of bitter, this can do attitude. And my usual prayer goes up to heaven - please let this last, please.
Maybe it's all the Chia I've been adding to my juices.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, who knew I could still climb half way up an eight foot ladder and cut a dead branch off one of the privet trees using my limb saver chainsaw??? I Rock. A helped me break up all of the small dead branches and load them into the cart. It was already 3/4 full from the morning's work and now it is full - for the moment - if I am not disabled in the morning I'll pack it down and do another branch. Because of course now that the large dead branch is gone I can see three more live ones that need to go in order for the tree to have a pleasing shape again. God that felt good. I am soaked with sweat, sawdust and a small patch of blood on my ankle from when I accidentally knocked the saw from where I had balanced it on the top of the fence. Yes I was up that high. And if I can do this then maybe I can get on the roof and do the back gutters. But not today. A month of days like this and I could have the back yard in good shape again. If only.
I had a large chopped salad with seeds and chick peas for lunch while watching the rest of the Pacifier with A, and I'll finish my juice this afternoon. There is fresh organic pasta in the fridge and marinara sauce from TJ's in the cupboard if i need something solid later. But for now I am calling it a good day, and once I cool down I'm heading for the shower and some clean comfy clothes assuming I can find something loose to wear.
Did I already say I Rock? Because today I definitely do.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Princess Meatball or On being addicted to Mike & Molly
It has been a challenging week, between trying to catch the house up, helping with A, and getting everything done at work I have been fairly exhausted. In the middle of it all I had an ocular migraine adding another special layer of tired over everything else.
Guilty Pleasure: I have recently discovered Mike & Molly, and while part of me can't stand the Mike half, I am laughing so much at the Molly half that I keep going back for more; like watching a train wreck. So during this trying week I discovered that I could set the series to record at any time, any day, new or re-runs, and since I never watched the original airings they are all new to me. Years worth of episodes. Sometimes I am lucky and get them in order, but mostly it doesn't matter. Each day I have two or three episodes to watch and I am immediately relaxed and usually laugh sometime during the twenty minutes or so of the actual show time. Laughter is still the best medicine, and Molly calling herself Princess Meatball after winning a leg wrestling contest with Kathy Bates did the trick for me today. (In the episode Mike had been called Meatball by the Bates character when he was a child.)
I made the pineapple juice again this week with limes, baby spinach, cucumbers and ginger. Simple, light, delicious. We've been juicing often enough that the eczema that was threatening my ears has backed off, and I've been able to cut back on both my Immune and Alfalfa Complex in the treatment of my allergies. And my nails are still strong from the thyroid meds, even though I don't seem to be eating less or having more energy yet. So even as I remain mostly the same there are changes to take note of, and I will count them as progress.
That being said, I'm in here typing because I want to jump in the car and go get some coffee ice cream. It's Friday evening and I don't want to be tired. I don't want to be old and cranky and I am shutting off the whining right now.
It should be gorgeous weather this weekend, and I am looking forward to being home, puttering away at whatever strikes my fancy outside, and sleeping as much as I want in between tasks. I'll finish up juicing anything left in the kitchen that can be processed over the next couple of days, and make a batch of roasted veggies since it is supposed to be a little cooler earlier in the evenings for a change. Sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, red onions - yum.
And maybe some more pumpkin pancakes to go in the freezer for easy weekday breakfasts. I love the crisp outside layer of a pancake heated up in the toaster.
Yaaaaaaaawn. That's about it. For now.
Guilty Pleasure: I have recently discovered Mike & Molly, and while part of me can't stand the Mike half, I am laughing so much at the Molly half that I keep going back for more; like watching a train wreck. So during this trying week I discovered that I could set the series to record at any time, any day, new or re-runs, and since I never watched the original airings they are all new to me. Years worth of episodes. Sometimes I am lucky and get them in order, but mostly it doesn't matter. Each day I have two or three episodes to watch and I am immediately relaxed and usually laugh sometime during the twenty minutes or so of the actual show time. Laughter is still the best medicine, and Molly calling herself Princess Meatball after winning a leg wrestling contest with Kathy Bates did the trick for me today. (In the episode Mike had been called Meatball by the Bates character when he was a child.)
I made the pineapple juice again this week with limes, baby spinach, cucumbers and ginger. Simple, light, delicious. We've been juicing often enough that the eczema that was threatening my ears has backed off, and I've been able to cut back on both my Immune and Alfalfa Complex in the treatment of my allergies. And my nails are still strong from the thyroid meds, even though I don't seem to be eating less or having more energy yet. So even as I remain mostly the same there are changes to take note of, and I will count them as progress.
That being said, I'm in here typing because I want to jump in the car and go get some coffee ice cream. It's Friday evening and I don't want to be tired. I don't want to be old and cranky and I am shutting off the whining right now.
It should be gorgeous weather this weekend, and I am looking forward to being home, puttering away at whatever strikes my fancy outside, and sleeping as much as I want in between tasks. I'll finish up juicing anything left in the kitchen that can be processed over the next couple of days, and make a batch of roasted veggies since it is supposed to be a little cooler earlier in the evenings for a change. Sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, red onions - yum.
And maybe some more pumpkin pancakes to go in the freezer for easy weekday breakfasts. I love the crisp outside layer of a pancake heated up in the toaster.
Yaaaaaaaawn. That's about it. For now.
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