Breathing and Baking

 It's been such a busy day I almost forgot to journal. Not much to report, other than a little voice urging me to have maintenance meals at breakfast and lunch too.  It was warm out, there were the usual school drop offs and pick ups, and I stopped on the way home to pick up more Allegra, a sweater for cool mornings, and Nutella for A. That will be a challenge, but currently I am up for it.

Harder still is R in the kitchen baking birthday desert for her friend's party tomorrow. They have a fun day planned, sailing and then dinner.  So I will have the grands all day. I am so used to her being here, coming out for tea while she is working, and then for lunch. But I am taking the day off tomorrow, and other than a little light cleaning don't plan on doing much.

 It's Joey's birthday tomorrow, he would have been 38 years old and sometimes I wonder what his life would have been like. But I don't dwell on it. Instead today I just breathed in and out, slowly, and remembered his laugh, and happier times. It's always going to be hard, but I keep enough of it locked up so as to keep it from being devastating. And I am glad R will have friends, wind, and sun to keep her occupied. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in having lost a son, that I forget she lost her brother.

Commit tomorrow's food

• b: sprouted grain toast, plant breakfast sausage, banana & kiwi
• l:  veggie omelet, parm cheeze, apple
• d: ribs, corn on the cob, coleslaw &  potato salad

Something I noticed while planning my food this evening, is that I like taking the time to really think about what I want the next day. 

I did a lot of intentional breathing today, and anytime I was tempted - and there was more than usual for some reason - I was quick to remind myself about my "wants."

Mostly I want to do this. I want to be a success story. I want to model healthy eating for my family - and those three things aren't even on my list!

Time for bed, and another Bright night.