BLE: Count Down to Hawaii; week 5/14

Up half a pound in my quest to be smaller for our trip to the big island. In my defense I weighed in an hour early, before my morning constitutional. That on top of having a heavier than usual dinner consisting of a Habit cheese burger (protein style) and sweet potato fries. It was rich, delicious, and filling. And really too heavy of a meal. On top of that I am having to clear my throat this morning, phlegm a sure sign of inflammation from the cheese (and meat?).

Not an auspicious beginning to committing my food either; I finished work after 9pm last night and never gave a thought to writing down my food for today. This morning I have already been to the grocery store - where there were shoppers without masks, very unnerving - and have supplies for food prep today and tomorrow. I need to get back to the days of having meals packed and ready in the fridge, making it easy to commit food.

Today's food:

• b)  toast, PB & flaxmeal, sliced banana, strawberries & blueberries
• l)   leftover Chinese supplemented with cashews, apple
• d)  minestrone style veggie stoup, leftover meatloaf, red chili oil

Leftovers are easy. Today I will be making batches of refried beans and Spanish farrow  for breakfasts. Tomorrow I will prep Chick pea salad for lunches, and more spaghetti stoup for dinners, with Soyrizo this time to keep it vegetarian.

'It's another hot one today', hitting 103 this afternoon. So I am off to drench the garden and fill up the water basins. It's fun to sit eating breakfast, and look up to see a tail peeking out while a furry friend gets a sip.

Small joys rule.

This morning I am heavier than when we started over a month ago. Go Me.

SW: 202.1

CW: 202.2

BLE: Count Down to Hawaii; week 4/14

Up point 7, less than a pound, at the weekly weigh-in. Given how many bites off plan I had been over the course of the week, and even one splurge from the bakery, I was grateful it hadn't been more. The coughing continues, followed closely on it's heels by depression, but I have tools to fight with, and most of the time I win my little battles. Something clicked last Wednesday and I have been Bright, day and night, since then. Having two Bright nights under my belt at the weigh-in probably saved me from an encounter with despair, so I am thankful for the timing.

Or course I had to sit down with my paper journal and do the math; how many weeks until we leave, what I might expect to lose by then if I were to stay bright, how I will feel about myself if I don't. On and on, you know. All told, I am down about half a pound since the start, so still in maintenance as has been the case since about February of 2020. I am hoping that this current calm and acceptance continues long enough to see some real progress. Because the BLE saying is true, that while 100% is easy, 99% is really hard.

After my video Dr. appt. I have upped my inhaler dose, and after three nights sleeping with a warm mist humidifier the coughing has abated somewhat today. Thank heavens, because I was getting closer to crazy than I like to venture. The Doc also ordered the cough meds I requested, but they had to be ordered and won't be in at the pharmacy until Monday or Tuesday. Sometimes I feel that all of my energy is going towards not coughing, and I hate how unfair it is to Cal. My goal has been to rest which shortens our walks, and has completely cast out our little games of 'go tag'. I feel for him, and I know this will pass, so after three solid weeks of this crap I am giving myself a break and not fretting about the exhaustion. And I'm using my IFS tools to keep the panicky parts of myself at bay.

Today's food:

• b)  cheese & triscuits, banana & grapes (first cheese in a week)
• l)   red pepper hummus, yellow squash, mixed nuts, strawberries & grapes
• d)  cauliflower rice w/ onions & nutritional yeast, black beans, salsa, corn

Dinner was too heavy with a full serving of beans and corn. I put the leftovers away to use or throw away tomorrow. I have a new bag of Nutritional yeast to try, and I'm looking forward to playing around with it. Guess I'll need to pick up some raw cashews.

Having forgotten to publish this Friday, I am doing so now.

Sitting in a warm steamy room is not conducive to staying upright and typing. I feel a Saturday afternoon nap coming on, the pull from the bed suddenly irresistible. Sometimes it's not such a bad thing to live in very close quarters; it's literally one step from my desk chair to a nap.

• SW: 202.1
• CW: 201.7

Count Down to Hawaii: week 2/14

Down .2 this morning. After the week I had, I'll take it! Of course my brain spent a moment in wonder, and calculating how much I might have lost if I hadn't broken any lines during the week.  But I know now that it's best to forgive and forget and move forward.

• b)  rice, salsa, refried beans, red grapes and kiwi
• l)   romaine , mixed veg, roasted pecans, bleu cheese dressing, half a huge apple
• d)  Take out: ribs, coleslaw, french fries

Definitely not the healthiest dinner, but Bright. I weighed the rib meat then eyed the slaw and fries to make a 'one plate meal', It wasn't delicious, but it was good and there are no dishes!

I made a batch of stoup this afternoon, using up corn on the cob, leeks, cauliflower, a poblano pepper and a bag of spinach. Adding it all to the instant pot with some veggie broth, it came out smelling corny and good. But I didn't taste it, just weighed out five containers, adding 6oz of beans and 4oz of broth to each serving. I'll find out tomorrow at lunch how it turned out. Hopefully a little spicy from the pepper, a little sweet from the corn, and hearty from the rest. I added cannellini beans to three and refried black beans to the last two for a little variety. Plus there is a container of stoup left over to use as I may. For one meal I envision blending up a portion with left over pot roast potatoes that are hanging out in the fridge; that will be a yummy lunch one day for sure, a version of 'dirty mashed potatoes' if you will.

I'm looking forward to seeing my mastermind group in the morning. I missed it last week, feeling crummy and going to bed instead. That was the day the kids were at the lake and I slummed on the couch most of the day. What with all the coughing all week, I am even more tired than usual, but each day gets a little better as my immune system recovers. I figure I can always just mute myself and listen in.

Speaking of listening, I played a coaching call from my Bright Line Eating bootcamp,  and was reminded that in a mastermind group we can, "just be there as a witness to their journey". And there was reference to this vlog, which I will listen to this evening as a reminder of what support looks like in BLE.

I spent a few minutes this morning looking at the phone app that links to the scale, and in a moment of positivity, selected a goal. I chose a short term goal of 190#s. That is what I would like to weigh heading to Hawaii. And I would like to weigh even less upon arriving home after our trip. Memories of my first and only trip there are filled with warm water, fresh fruit, lots of walking, and resting in the sand while it rained. It was such a pivotal point in my life. I am not sure I would have had the chutzpah to head North at the age of 19, with vague plans of applying to school, and a small bank account to tide me over while I figured things out.  Hawaii gave me the experience of living away from my family, and helped form the spine it would take for me to weather the next few years as I found my way. Maybe revisiting paradise will help me find that girl who was so brave and adventurous. 

But my only real expectations for the trip are being more active, having fun in the ocean, playing with the family, and getting some rest. 

I can't remember the last vacation my brain had, and I've never been completely away from work for ten days before. I am worried that if I did that, I wouldn't be able to come back to a daily grind. So maybe I will take the laptop. Maybe.

And now I am blathering away, my brain going off in a million directions, and I need to exit.

Count Down to Hawaii: week 1/14

I was down exactly 1 pound this morning. I'll take it. There are just over 13 more weeks until we fly out. If I stay consistent, at this rate I could be 14 pounds lighter by the time I need to sit for just over five hours on the plane. I'll be up every hour to stretch my hips, but you get the drift. Weighing that much less will make the trip just that much more comfortable.

Today's Food

• b)  potatoes, eggs over easy, banana
• l)   potato stoup, turkey hot dogs w/ mustard & ketchup, apple
• d)  roasted veggies, 1oz pepperoni, 1.5oz mozzarella cheese

Not the most nutritional day, but a Bright one.

The family is going to the lake tomorrow, and I have plans to clean the oven, organize my room a little, and loaf around a lot. Maybe a little sun bathing, weather permitting, and definitely some meal planning. I'll pack up some rice & beans for breakfasts, and chop up a bunch of veggies so they are ready for salads. With the days warmer, I am craving crunchy chick pea salads with lots of celery and green onion.

I've been washing dishes by hand all week, but the part we need came in today and Appliance Tek is coming first thing Monday morning to repair the real dish washer. Halleluiah - my hands are so dry!

Back to work, and my second cup of spicy tea. Love the breeze coming in my window, and knowing that in just a couple of hours I will be free for the weekend.

TGIF!