This morning, snuggling back into bed after the obligatory trip to the loo, I didn't want to meditate. I wanted to sink back into the delicious dream I had been having. There was a very handsome man, and I welcomed his attentions - just flirting- to a degree that was unexpected and fun and just plain delightful. I wanted to feel that way again, if only for a moment, in a dream, in my warm safe nest.
Big Sigh.
Maybe I am not dead inside after all. And at that thought I feel the wall go up inside, "Thou shall not pass!" demands my fierce protector at the mere idea of intimacy. I can imagine a future that includes a love life, but I do fear that my dreams are unrealistic and it makes me so sad. Because I dream of a partner I can talk to, and really share a life with - not just a bed.
Silly girl. Like that happens.
Enough cynicism for the day! To work!
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