I am tired. Way tired. But tomorrow is Sunday and I am done for the day. I even did some cooking when I got home from work; green beans with onions and mushroom soup. Yes, I sauteed the onions in bacon grease, and yes, I wolfed down a few slices of bacon while waiting for the beans to cook. I'm not proud of it, but oh well and all that.
My back is hurting, the old repetitive motion pinch in my sub scapular bursa, so that is worrisome. I'm almost hurting enough to warrant a shot of tequila, but I'll go for the ibuprofen and tylenol mix first. And some relaxing tea. I hate to think of spending tomorrow resting instead of puttering around the house, but it is what it is. If nothing else I'll cook a batch of 'spaghetti soup' for my next set of meals. For lunches I'm pulling the batch of black bean soup out of the freezer, and I'll do breakfast from scratch each morning - oatmeal cooked in 1/2C Oat milk, plus walnuts and blueberries or whatever frozen fruit needs to be eaten.
So food planned, and just waiting for the meds to kick in.
I did love being home with the grandkids this week, or the three days anyway. I just really need to moderate my activity; just because I'm home doesn't mean I get to do everything I want.
God, it's not even 7pm yet.
No more whining. Going to rest.
Oh, and 210.2 this morning, the lowest number in years despite my midnight snacking. I will get past this, I will, but more about that later. I am really missing the hot tub right now....
Saturday, May 30, 2020
Sunday, May 24, 2020
A bend in the road
As usual of a weekend, I am planning my Bright Line meals for the week ahead. I placed a grocery order for delivery tomorrow morning, and will cook and prep for all of my meals for the week. This week more than others it's especially important, because Tuesday is my last full time day at the accounting department I have been part of for the past eight years. Instead I will be staying at home caring for my grandchildren, then working part time at accounting four hours each night. It's a crazy schedule, working 8am - 9pm, but it's only for a month or two while they shift workloads at the office. Then I will cut back to something more manageable, because I doubt 13 hour work days will be sustainable for me, even if do I get to sit down for the last four of them.
My dinners next week will be a couple of vegetable recipes from the BLE cookbook, some meatballs using another BLE recipe, and some sun-dried chicken sausages. I'm going back to cheese and triscuits for breakfast to cut back on the cooking I need to do tomorrow, plus it's a favorite breakfast. I have cut way back on cheese, and I may have noticed a slight decrease in pain, but nothing measurable. Maybe I'll try again this Summer. I've already cut out cream from my decaf coffee, and the plan is cheese only once a day for now.
My black bean soup last week was delicious, and I still have a container (4 servings) in the freezer I can pull out for lunches. Later this evening I'll do some salad prep; we need to use up some purple cabbage before the Imperfect Produce delivery next week. Slicing that up thinly may be a task better relegated to the food processor so I think a trip to the kitchen section of the garage will be in order. I'll add some to a base of Romaine, carrots, and green onions for my lunches all week.
Speaking of purple, I think we are making the purple potatoes we received last week into potato salad tomorrow. This means skipping my grain at breakfast and having it at lunch, but I'm cool with those kinds of adjustments. Because I am committing to eating bright line meals for the week, instead of specific foods for only the next day, there will be no chatter around the change. Sausages and potato salad on Memorial Day, a beautiful bright line plan. There will roasted veggies from my cooking tomorrow to round out the meal (lunch) then an everyday BLE dinner.
I rode my bike this morning, taking a turn down to the pond after R&M returned from their ride. OMG, it's only about a mile and I was aching to be home. Well, my thighs and buttocks were anyway. But I made it, and I will keep doing this until I can ride five miles at a time as I once did. It did feel good to have my face in the wind! And it was a chance to listen to more of my audio book, which I haven't done much of now that I am not commuting.
So lots of positive thoughts about this coming change, and a determination to do right by the grandkids and myself all at the same time.
My dinners next week will be a couple of vegetable recipes from the BLE cookbook, some meatballs using another BLE recipe, and some sun-dried chicken sausages. I'm going back to cheese and triscuits for breakfast to cut back on the cooking I need to do tomorrow, plus it's a favorite breakfast. I have cut way back on cheese, and I may have noticed a slight decrease in pain, but nothing measurable. Maybe I'll try again this Summer. I've already cut out cream from my decaf coffee, and the plan is cheese only once a day for now.
My black bean soup last week was delicious, and I still have a container (4 servings) in the freezer I can pull out for lunches. Later this evening I'll do some salad prep; we need to use up some purple cabbage before the Imperfect Produce delivery next week. Slicing that up thinly may be a task better relegated to the food processor so I think a trip to the kitchen section of the garage will be in order. I'll add some to a base of Romaine, carrots, and green onions for my lunches all week.
Speaking of purple, I think we are making the purple potatoes we received last week into potato salad tomorrow. This means skipping my grain at breakfast and having it at lunch, but I'm cool with those kinds of adjustments. Because I am committing to eating bright line meals for the week, instead of specific foods for only the next day, there will be no chatter around the change. Sausages and potato salad on Memorial Day, a beautiful bright line plan. There will roasted veggies from my cooking tomorrow to round out the meal (lunch) then an everyday BLE dinner.
I rode my bike this morning, taking a turn down to the pond after R&M returned from their ride. OMG, it's only about a mile and I was aching to be home. Well, my thighs and buttocks were anyway. But I made it, and I will keep doing this until I can ride five miles at a time as I once did. It did feel good to have my face in the wind! And it was a chance to listen to more of my audio book, which I haven't done much of now that I am not commuting.
So lots of positive thoughts about this coming change, and a determination to do right by the grandkids and myself all at the same time.
Sunday, May 17, 2020
BLE: Committing my food
The Instant Pot is full to the Max line with black beans I pre-cooked earlier this morning for 30 minutes, a large red onion, a med green bell pepper, a large zucchini, a can of roasted diced tomatoes, a small can of tomato paste, a bay leaf, and various salt free seasonings including garlic powder and cumin. Vegetable broth to cover, which brought us to full.
I'll be able to pack away a container in the freezer, and keep one in the fridge for lunches next week. Already prepped are meal containers of squash & onions with meatballs. Lots of bananas and apples are on the kitchen counter, and there are frozen blueberries in the freezer.
I have eggs, green chilies, and mushrooms ready to bake a tray and divide into breakfast servings; divided between the fridge and freezer. It feels good to plan ahead. Oh, and there is a large tub of celery and cauliflower cleaned, chopped, and ready for salads.
I have never been good at committing my food nightly for the next day. I did try at the beginning, but that quickly evolved into journaling here the next day about what I ate the day before. So I am trying something new - despite the huge block of data that shows committing to food the night before leans into automaticity and not depleting will power. I don't know why this is a point of rebellion for me. Maybe because of the years I spent keeping food logs and breaking everything down in to calories, and macro nutrients and then adding calcium and fiber and OMG enough already.
Which leads into thinking about Identity Shift and how I see myself. Because I don't think of myself as someone who diets anymore. Years of not writing down my food, and eating for nutrition, and not denying myself anything were stepping stones towards where I am now. And while Bright Line Eating has given me focus and clarity on how my body works, and probably saved my life to boot, I still rebel at committing my food nightly. Hence this new approach. Committing my food weekly. Making sure that going into the week I have everything prepped and ready so that while I may be using willpower to make a decision, it's quick and painless. It's either pre-weighed into meal containers, or as with my batch of soup, ready to scoop and weigh.
Is drifting off the BLE plan a good idea? Probably not. So why am I doing it? Because this feels sustainable. I just can't see myself writing down food for the rest of my life. I also can't see weighing my food for the rest of my life. How stubborn am I? But I can see myself using the 'one plate' option, and keeping bright lines against sugar, flour, and snacking.
I've been fighting against myself, a salmon swimming upstream in the wilderness of my brain. Bright Lines intact during the day, then a midnight snack of bread and butter, or Oreos, or pepperoni slices. I am staying within two pounds of my initial 20 pound loss, but not gaining ground - or losing ground, whatever. Partially it's the cortisol in the time of Covid-19, but mostly I feel it's because I have never laid down the new pathways in my brain that are needed to obliterate the voice of the saboteur. And in the middle of the night, groggy and susceptible to evil thoughts, I succumb. Not even really succumbing, more like planning ahead to fail. Insanity and all that.
So maybe for me, accepting that something isn't working, and figuring out just what it is that I can identify with, is the right thing to do. I feel that this is right for me, and I commit now to eating only the beautiful food I am preparing today for the week ahead.
Last night there was no midnight snack. Yesterday there were no bright lines broken. Another day One. I have the 100 day chart in my paper journal to prove it, the yellow highlighter a glowing review of a successful Bright Line day. And I am ready for today to be another such.
I wish I had someone to share this with, to talk about it, but I haven't been able to connect with anyone in the boot camp, despite support being an integral part of the program and sustained success. I will continue listening to the weekly vlogs, and facebook live replays, and try to post in my facebook group. But it's the need for conversation I crave, not cheer-leading, so I continue alone.
My goodness but the soup smells delicious!
I'll be able to pack away a container in the freezer, and keep one in the fridge for lunches next week. Already prepped are meal containers of squash & onions with meatballs. Lots of bananas and apples are on the kitchen counter, and there are frozen blueberries in the freezer.
I have eggs, green chilies, and mushrooms ready to bake a tray and divide into breakfast servings; divided between the fridge and freezer. It feels good to plan ahead. Oh, and there is a large tub of celery and cauliflower cleaned, chopped, and ready for salads.
I have never been good at committing my food nightly for the next day. I did try at the beginning, but that quickly evolved into journaling here the next day about what I ate the day before. So I am trying something new - despite the huge block of data that shows committing to food the night before leans into automaticity and not depleting will power. I don't know why this is a point of rebellion for me. Maybe because of the years I spent keeping food logs and breaking everything down in to calories, and macro nutrients and then adding calcium and fiber and OMG enough already.
Which leads into thinking about Identity Shift and how I see myself. Because I don't think of myself as someone who diets anymore. Years of not writing down my food, and eating for nutrition, and not denying myself anything were stepping stones towards where I am now. And while Bright Line Eating has given me focus and clarity on how my body works, and probably saved my life to boot, I still rebel at committing my food nightly. Hence this new approach. Committing my food weekly. Making sure that going into the week I have everything prepped and ready so that while I may be using willpower to make a decision, it's quick and painless. It's either pre-weighed into meal containers, or as with my batch of soup, ready to scoop and weigh.
Is drifting off the BLE plan a good idea? Probably not. So why am I doing it? Because this feels sustainable. I just can't see myself writing down food for the rest of my life. I also can't see weighing my food for the rest of my life. How stubborn am I? But I can see myself using the 'one plate' option, and keeping bright lines against sugar, flour, and snacking.
I've been fighting against myself, a salmon swimming upstream in the wilderness of my brain. Bright Lines intact during the day, then a midnight snack of bread and butter, or Oreos, or pepperoni slices. I am staying within two pounds of my initial 20 pound loss, but not gaining ground - or losing ground, whatever. Partially it's the cortisol in the time of Covid-19, but mostly I feel it's because I have never laid down the new pathways in my brain that are needed to obliterate the voice of the saboteur. And in the middle of the night, groggy and susceptible to evil thoughts, I succumb. Not even really succumbing, more like planning ahead to fail. Insanity and all that.
So maybe for me, accepting that something isn't working, and figuring out just what it is that I can identify with, is the right thing to do. I feel that this is right for me, and I commit now to eating only the beautiful food I am preparing today for the week ahead.
Last night there was no midnight snack. Yesterday there were no bright lines broken. Another day One. I have the 100 day chart in my paper journal to prove it, the yellow highlighter a glowing review of a successful Bright Line day. And I am ready for today to be another such.
I wish I had someone to share this with, to talk about it, but I haven't been able to connect with anyone in the boot camp, despite support being an integral part of the program and sustained success. I will continue listening to the weekly vlogs, and facebook live replays, and try to post in my facebook group. But it's the need for conversation I crave, not cheer-leading, so I continue alone.
My goodness but the soup smells delicious!
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