57

I should not be writing today because I am upset and that never bodes well.  But after years and months of not being able to communicate with each other, today H made it perfectly clear that he hates me and I need to vent these feelings somewhere. I told him to start looking for a place to move his things for when we do the Spring cleaning in the garage; we can not keep torturing each other this way. The details hurt but are not relevent to my current needs; as I read once in another's tale, I would hate to only relay one side of the problem. I know it takes two, to succeed or to fail, and I did my part.


Logically I can see that we are both to blame, but of course we will each have our own opinion on that score.  Earlier this week I sat down to type and wrote the following sentence.


                    " A rift formed between them that could not be bridged."


It felt like the beginning of a novel, but one I did not want to write, so I saved the file and put it away.  I am not sure yet how to spend my day. My last day at the old job was Wednesday, and the new one doesn't begin until Monday. And it's my Birthday. And while I can think of many things I might like to do I am frozen - as usual - so I sit and wait for the laundry to finish so my one pair of jeans that still fits will be clean and I can dress and run.