One thing after another

In the beginning I would stress each night as it approached 8pm, then it was every Thursday night, thinking it’s been a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks and then I was counting the months, nine, ten, eleven. On February 16th it will have been 2 years since Joey was killed and I am still struggling. Today started with a phone call berating me for my recent blood work, my cholesterol is too high (that’s a whole other story). Then it was off to the dump and mucking about in mud while unloading the truck, I wonder that the stench doesn’t bother the seagulls – maybe they really don’t have a sense of smell, which would make sense. Later, on the way home from my brief visit to the office, I stopped at the gym and discovered that the knee I sprained last March is still not ready to bounce at the rebounding stations in the circuit, nor can I lift weights with that leg yet. My knee has been so much better that it was disappointing to say the least. And then a final stop at the Verizon store to upgrade my phone (per a message they left on my machine) ended up being the last straw for my morning; I was only approved for an early upgrade, for the full advantage I would have to wait until February 21st. And there it was, February, and the realization of the 2 year anniversary just slammed into me. It isn’t that I haven’t been aware of this, the thought had crossed my mind many times over the holidays, but for some reason today it became real; I haven’t seen my son in almost 2 years. I know I am supposed to be positive, that what we focus on expands, but how do you do that when your heart is breaking. On January 18th I began following a six week eating plan by Dr. Fuhrman, and I am counting on that to help me get through the next few weeks; something positive to focus on, working towards a healthy body to help support a healthy mind. So at least that’s something….where’s my Balance spray…