Yesterday: Water, check. Food and walking not so much. Why is it so hard for me to stick to this 30 day plan? I know that in times of stress it is better to eat well and move more - it's just easier to handle all things mental when your body is healthier. I know this from experience, and yet presented with the choice on a daily basis I still take the easy route for dinner instead of the healthy one. This is why having something prepped ahead of time is so important, and it can't be the same something I am eating everyday for lunch. I am desperately low on raw veggies this week and I am feeling the lethargy kick in.
Breakfast: green smoothie
Lunch: left over lentil soup & a small order of sweet potato fries
Snack: part of a granny smith apple - i just wasn't enjoying it
Dinner: veggie patty on a bakery roll, side of slaw in commercial dressing
Snack: blue tortilla chips dipped in store bought guacamole
Dessert: handful of peanuts
Of note: the only items I purchased in the last three listed meals were the red onion and 'natural' ketchup that I put on the burger.
I need to run (no, not literally) this morning if I am going to get everything done - and by everything I mean a healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch, and a clean body. Just the basics can be time consuming - is this really worth having a life when it takes so much of said life just on maintenance? Either divinity really is in the details or I am definitely way out of balance here.
Off to the shower.
2840 steps taken
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Ugh. (10/30)
The only thing I did 'right' yesterday was drink all my water. The 4th of July was a favorite holiday all through my 'growing up' years. But the colour and tone of this particular day changed later in life when it became about...drinking. Not mine necessarily, but everyone else at that particular time of my life with few exceptions hailed this as the party day of the year. It was like the unofficial no holds barred this is our excuse to let go and explode along with the fireworks day. Maybe subconsciously the thinking was that hey, if everyone is looking up, no one will notice all the tomfoolery going on down here. In any case, in the 80's the flavour of this holiday changed from hot dogs to something more bitter and sinister for me. And with H yesterday the only celebrating we did was through food.
I did drink all my water, but skipped breakfast since the house was quiet and I didn't want the angry buzzing of the blender disrupting it. Then at work when I went to refill my bottle, there on the counter of the kitchen was a box of Mrs. Fields cookies. Not big ones, but small half dollar sized morsels, and over the course of the next five hours I had about six. When I reached home there was a bowl of green olive\cream cheese spread to dig into with a box of Ritz crackers. H had created a luscious, salty concoction that I didn't even try to resist, I just jumped in and helped demolish the bowl over the next couple of hours.
Then burgers for dinner - the first one I have had in years - and I was not impressed. I think for me it's all about the condiments when it comes to a burger. Now if I had cooked it out on the grill with the proper seasonings to the proper doneness I might have been singing a different tune, but H cooked mine for me at the kitchen stove and he so rarely contributes to anything cooked fresh in the kitchen I couldn't refuse and hurt his feelings. But it was not the flavourful, juicy patty that I had imagined earlier in the day. And while I was regretting my decision only a couple of bites in, I finished the whole thing. That's me in a nutshell lately, but I'm not going to spend any more time beating myself up about it.
For my contribution yesterday I had picked up a quart of Macaroon ice cream and we split that for dessert. Between the food and the beer I napped and when H woke me up to ask about fireworks I opted for the Macy's show on TV. I had wanted to ride our bikes down to where we might be able to see the display being put on just over the foothills, but that was not going to happen. So I lay like the lump on a log I have been all week and watched a mostly monochromatic extravaganza that had been taped in New York earlier in the day. So I take full responsibility for this failed holiday, it's all my bad, and just like last year I promise myself that it won't happen again next year.
2813 steps taken
I did drink all my water, but skipped breakfast since the house was quiet and I didn't want the angry buzzing of the blender disrupting it. Then at work when I went to refill my bottle, there on the counter of the kitchen was a box of Mrs. Fields cookies. Not big ones, but small half dollar sized morsels, and over the course of the next five hours I had about six. When I reached home there was a bowl of green olive\cream cheese spread to dig into with a box of Ritz crackers. H had created a luscious, salty concoction that I didn't even try to resist, I just jumped in and helped demolish the bowl over the next couple of hours.
Then burgers for dinner - the first one I have had in years - and I was not impressed. I think for me it's all about the condiments when it comes to a burger. Now if I had cooked it out on the grill with the proper seasonings to the proper doneness I might have been singing a different tune, but H cooked mine for me at the kitchen stove and he so rarely contributes to anything cooked fresh in the kitchen I couldn't refuse and hurt his feelings. But it was not the flavourful, juicy patty that I had imagined earlier in the day. And while I was regretting my decision only a couple of bites in, I finished the whole thing. That's me in a nutshell lately, but I'm not going to spend any more time beating myself up about it.
For my contribution yesterday I had picked up a quart of Macaroon ice cream and we split that for dessert. Between the food and the beer I napped and when H woke me up to ask about fireworks I opted for the Macy's show on TV. I had wanted to ride our bikes down to where we might be able to see the display being put on just over the foothills, but that was not going to happen. So I lay like the lump on a log I have been all week and watched a mostly monochromatic extravaganza that had been taped in New York earlier in the day. So I take full responsibility for this failed holiday, it's all my bad, and just like last year I promise myself that it won't happen again next year.
2813 steps taken
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Independence Day (9/30)
Yesterday: All my water, french fries for lunch, dumplings for dinner. I went with my office mate C for a walk at lunch and we ended up in a diner. I skipped my favorite grilled veggie sandwich with feta on sourdough and asked for a half portion of fries and some sliced tomatoes. The three other times we have been there for lunch I ate all the fries as well as a sandwich so I feel okay about what I ate. Not good, but not beating myself up too much - it's still very stressful at work. Then lentil soup for dinner while H finished his pizza - I added some dumplings made using Bisquick Light and it was every so nice. But I am slipping fast back into bad habits and I need to shake off this stress I am letting pile up on my shoulders using exercise instead of flour and fat. At least it's only two out of the devilish trifecta of comfort food and sugar hasn't wormed it's way back in yet.
Awake early, and uncertain of what will be needed on this holiday, I think I will get out of here early so I can get back early. It will be quiet at the office and I should be able to get some serious work done. I think I will skip my green smoothie and stop at the grocery for a bottle of green super food for breakfast. I shouldn't, I should save my money, but it's too early and too quiet in this house to wake it up to my blender tunes.
3424 steps taken
Awake early, and uncertain of what will be needed on this holiday, I think I will get out of here early so I can get back early. It will be quiet at the office and I should be able to get some serious work done. I think I will skip my green smoothie and stop at the grocery for a bottle of green super food for breakfast. I shouldn't, I should save my money, but it's too early and too quiet in this house to wake it up to my blender tunes.
3424 steps taken
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
One down three to go (8/30)
Evenings can be difficult for many reasons, but I think mostly it's about being tired, being in pain, and frustrated by being tired and in pain. which is just another way of saying sick and tired of being sick and tired. But if I really were, wouldn't I do something about it? I couldn't even find the time yesterday to make a Dr. appt. So I am going to save this for later and take care of that now. DONE. July 10th I have an appointment.
Yesterday: All good with the exception of one very small slice of H's pizza. Four small bites and really, it was enough. Oh, and I didn't walk at lunch - there is just so much to do and I hate falling behind; two weekends of not working at the office has wreaked havoc on my inbox. I feel sort of guilty even sitting here doing this instead of getting ready to go to work. I have A after work again today so if I'm going to put in overtime it needs to be this morning.
Well, since I am not inspired to write at the moment because I am thinking about work I may as well get going. Sometimes the words pour out of me like sap from a tree - and others it's more like a volcano erupting. Today, much more sap than ash so I am out of here.
2709 steps taken
Yesterday: All good with the exception of one very small slice of H's pizza. Four small bites and really, it was enough. Oh, and I didn't walk at lunch - there is just so much to do and I hate falling behind; two weekends of not working at the office has wreaked havoc on my inbox. I feel sort of guilty even sitting here doing this instead of getting ready to go to work. I have A after work again today so if I'm going to put in overtime it needs to be this morning.
Well, since I am not inspired to write at the moment because I am thinking about work I may as well get going. Sometimes the words pour out of me like sap from a tree - and others it's more like a volcano erupting. Today, much more sap than ash so I am out of here.
2709 steps taken
Monday, July 2, 2012
So begins July (7/30)
Yesterday: Food okay, water I'm not sure, barely any steps. While this sounds like a disaster, I'm going to fall back on the '7th day of rest' excuse and move forward. It was another cool cloudy morning, untypical of Summer for us, and I started my morning with hot tea instead of cold water. I did remember and began drinking water after the first cup of tea but have no clear recollection of quantities consumed. Then no usual two cups of water in my smoothie, instead breakfast was a treat; steel cup oats loaded up with fresh cherries, chopped pecans and diced dates. A tablespoon or so of brown sugar thrown in and YUM. This was a treasure chest in a bowl, each bite a new combination of textures and flavours each as delicious as the last; what a lovely Sunday treat. But instead of having five cups of water off the bat, maybe it was two or three? By 11 I was starving and the bag of brown sugar was still on the counter. So when I went to grab an apple to much on, instead of the usual au naturel I chopped it up and threw it in the microwave with some ground ginger and some of the brown sugar. In my defense it was still a very cool morning and my warm snack was comforting as well as filling; the warmth left in my mouth afterwards from the ginger was delightful..
Lunch was a hummus sandwich that H picked up from Subway - another treat. Then black bean soup (not homemade, store bought last week and in the fridge) with a couple of crisped corn tortillas for dipping and an avocado for dinner. The avocado wasn't really part of dinner, but rather dessert a bit later. And then the last of the apricots and slivered almonds for a snack.
High in processed grain, fat, salt...not a good eating day for my 30 day plan. Not horrific either, but my hands are swollen this morning and I feel like I wasn't true to my intentions, which is disheartening. The only fresh veggies were in my sandwich, and I imagine there were some cooked ones in the soup. Barely a dent in what we should consume each day. That's the real problem with the grains, they suck up calories and space that should be used for greens. And to top matters off, I weighed in this morning - not down even a tenth of a pound. Which I will blame on the salt!
I will mention here that I did fill up my water bottle a few more times yesterday, so I know for sure I had at least nine cups of water and a cup of tea so I think I got in all the water. But I was frozen to the couch most of the day - what a waste of a beautiful afternoon! I had stressed my arm in the morning, and just wanted to rest it and make sure I was good to go to work this morning. I did make it out to the back yard to lay in the sun for about 15 minutes to get my vitamin D in for the day; there is nothing so comforting as the warmth of the sun soothing my body. Some of my early memories are of laying in the sun at Arrowhead, leaning back against the boat tarp that was heaped up on the corner of the dock. Feeling the cool breeze play across my skin and waiting for the moment when the sun would win over and saturate me in a blanket of warmth. Then for a few moments I would relax and all would be right with the world as I listened to the sighing of the wind gone way up high to the tops of the pines and to the clinking of the dock chains as the waves of the lake rocked us to and fro. Now the sighing is coming from me, bu it is at times like this that I think of the Dumbledore quote:
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
As soon as I put tea on to heat this morning I remembered about the water and filled up my bottle and came to sit down and write. I have already downed the first two cups and will definitely have a smoothie for breakfast. I'm going to replace half a cup of my usual two cups of water in the smoothie with half a cup of chocolate soy milk and mix in some cherries that are ripening way too fast; sounds decadent, no? I had to seed them and throw them in the fridge last night when I found how quickly they were getting soft. There is left over lentil soup to take for lunch, and on the way home this afternoon I will stop and grab a bag of chopped lettuce and veggies from TJ's since I have run out of salad greens here. They sell a tub of eight chopped veggies that works great for salads and I have chick peas already drained and in the fridge ready to throw on top.
Fitbit charged, plan for the day determined, morning wateralmost gone and heading for the shower. And Yikes! I almost forgot, yesterday was July 1st, and I can make a Doctor's appointment!
Lunch was a hummus sandwich that H picked up from Subway - another treat. Then black bean soup (not homemade, store bought last week and in the fridge) with a couple of crisped corn tortillas for dipping and an avocado for dinner. The avocado wasn't really part of dinner, but rather dessert a bit later. And then the last of the apricots and slivered almonds for a snack.
High in processed grain, fat, salt...not a good eating day for my 30 day plan. Not horrific either, but my hands are swollen this morning and I feel like I wasn't true to my intentions, which is disheartening. The only fresh veggies were in my sandwich, and I imagine there were some cooked ones in the soup. Barely a dent in what we should consume each day. That's the real problem with the grains, they suck up calories and space that should be used for greens. And to top matters off, I weighed in this morning - not down even a tenth of a pound. Which I will blame on the salt!
I will mention here that I did fill up my water bottle a few more times yesterday, so I know for sure I had at least nine cups of water and a cup of tea so I think I got in all the water. But I was frozen to the couch most of the day - what a waste of a beautiful afternoon! I had stressed my arm in the morning, and just wanted to rest it and make sure I was good to go to work this morning. I did make it out to the back yard to lay in the sun for about 15 minutes to get my vitamin D in for the day; there is nothing so comforting as the warmth of the sun soothing my body. Some of my early memories are of laying in the sun at Arrowhead, leaning back against the boat tarp that was heaped up on the corner of the dock. Feeling the cool breeze play across my skin and waiting for the moment when the sun would win over and saturate me in a blanket of warmth. Then for a few moments I would relax and all would be right with the world as I listened to the sighing of the wind gone way up high to the tops of the pines and to the clinking of the dock chains as the waves of the lake rocked us to and fro. Now the sighing is coming from me, bu it is at times like this that I think of the Dumbledore quote:
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
So if only for a moment, I live in the memory, and remember a strong young girl who had the world at her fingertips.
As soon as I put tea on to heat this morning I remembered about the water and filled up my bottle and came to sit down and write. I have already downed the first two cups and will definitely have a smoothie for breakfast. I'm going to replace half a cup of my usual two cups of water in the smoothie with half a cup of chocolate soy milk and mix in some cherries that are ripening way too fast; sounds decadent, no? I had to seed them and throw them in the fridge last night when I found how quickly they were getting soft. There is left over lentil soup to take for lunch, and on the way home this afternoon I will stop and grab a bag of chopped lettuce and veggies from TJ's since I have run out of salad greens here. They sell a tub of eight chopped veggies that works great for salads and I have chick peas already drained and in the fridge ready to throw on top.
Fitbit charged, plan for the day determined, morning water
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Tailbone up, Shoulders down (6/30)
Yesterday: Water yes, food yes, exercise not so much and I forgot to clip on my Fitbit. I did learn some new stretching exercise from D yesterday but couldn't seem to drag myself out for a short walk. She has been doing Restorative exercises the past couple of years and loves how she is pain free. During this time she has given me CD's and spoken about what she is doing, explaining how she is correcting her posture through exercise. (The link above is to her teacher.) From the CD I did watch I learned a thoracic push up, or maybe it's the rhomboid push up, that helps relieve my back pain. I do it in the evenings when I really need the pain to just go away for a few moments. I can't remember how much complaining here I have done about this, but I have been in different levels of pain or discomfort daily since the Summer of 2004. Anyway, it felt really good yesterday to do the stretches she showed me and I need to incorporate them into my plan so that I am doing them daily for the remainder of my 30 days. Theoretically it takes 21 days to create a habit - I'm not sure about the who or the when of that discovery but I hope it's true. I need to be more proactive about preventative exercise.
We shared a green smoothie for breakfast, had little guacamole sandwiches at the GD's tea party for an early lunch (avocado was the healthy fat in my chick pea sandwich spread.) There was also a bowl of apricots, a bruschetta rice noodle pasta and a tiny luscious strawberry cupcake. The hibiscus tea was delicious as was the pink french wine, a Rose for which I can't remember the name. Then later we each had a small popcorn at the movies, no added butter or salt, and finally back home we made made veggie soup with lentils for dinner. (While this was cooking we toasted up a couple of corn tortillas in the broiler and smeared on the remaining avocado for appetizers.) As with all of the soups and casserole type dishes that I modify, the legumes took a back seat to the veggies; bokchoy, celery, onion, orange & yellow peppers & mushrooms seasoned with some mild white Miso, garlic powder, poultry seasoning and some extra oregano and lemon pepper were the main ingredients. Just as we are advised to change the proportions on our plates to include more veggies, I change the proportions of ingredients in my dishes so that the veggies are always center stage. So if I say lentil soup, or bean soup, it's always mostly veggie soup. We had picked up a bag of cherries while shopping in the morning and those were snacked on in moderation through out the day and evening. So while my raw veggie consumption was not what it should have been, everyday should be a little different, no? Change things up and do the best you can with the day as it unfolds.
Today I will do the prep necessary to make throwing together salads for dinner this week easy and quick. I think a pecan, date and vinegar salad dressing sounds good so I will blend up a batch. I have two containers of lentil soup left from last night. We chopped so many vegetables yesterday it made two soup pots - one I used for the lentils and the other I think I will cook down today and add a layer of mashed potatoes on top for a Shepard's pie. That will be dinner tonight plus more lunches to have ready for next week.
So on to day six. I should probably weigh myself tomorrow, but since this is mostly about the water and getting back to eating plants I'm not sure I want to put that pressure on myself. But I also don't want to be living in a fog, pretending I am eating well while ignoring the fact that my weight contributes to my pain. One can eat too many calories even of good things. Hence the mantra that I was using to try and hypnotize myself, "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."
Morning water is gone, time to think about breakfast.
We shared a green smoothie for breakfast, had little guacamole sandwiches at the GD's tea party for an early lunch (avocado was the healthy fat in my chick pea sandwich spread.) There was also a bowl of apricots, a bruschetta rice noodle pasta and a tiny luscious strawberry cupcake. The hibiscus tea was delicious as was the pink french wine, a Rose for which I can't remember the name. Then later we each had a small popcorn at the movies, no added butter or salt, and finally back home we made made veggie soup with lentils for dinner. (While this was cooking we toasted up a couple of corn tortillas in the broiler and smeared on the remaining avocado for appetizers.) As with all of the soups and casserole type dishes that I modify, the legumes took a back seat to the veggies; bokchoy, celery, onion, orange & yellow peppers & mushrooms seasoned with some mild white Miso, garlic powder, poultry seasoning and some extra oregano and lemon pepper were the main ingredients. Just as we are advised to change the proportions on our plates to include more veggies, I change the proportions of ingredients in my dishes so that the veggies are always center stage. So if I say lentil soup, or bean soup, it's always mostly veggie soup. We had picked up a bag of cherries while shopping in the morning and those were snacked on in moderation through out the day and evening. So while my raw veggie consumption was not what it should have been, everyday should be a little different, no? Change things up and do the best you can with the day as it unfolds.
Today I will do the prep necessary to make throwing together salads for dinner this week easy and quick. I think a pecan, date and vinegar salad dressing sounds good so I will blend up a batch. I have two containers of lentil soup left from last night. We chopped so many vegetables yesterday it made two soup pots - one I used for the lentils and the other I think I will cook down today and add a layer of mashed potatoes on top for a Shepard's pie. That will be dinner tonight plus more lunches to have ready for next week.
So on to day six. I should probably weigh myself tomorrow, but since this is mostly about the water and getting back to eating plants I'm not sure I want to put that pressure on myself. But I also don't want to be living in a fog, pretending I am eating well while ignoring the fact that my weight contributes to my pain. One can eat too many calories even of good things. Hence the mantra that I was using to try and hypnotize myself, "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."
Morning water is gone, time to think about breakfast.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Five of Thirty (5/30)
Yesterday: All my water, somewhere around 5,000 steps, good food. Dinner was not the healthiest choice given my goals during this 30 day stretch, a Mediterranean Rustica pizza from Zpizza, but as pizza goes light and fresh and wonderful. We had wine with dinner, also yummy, and enjoyed the company of our fiesty 3yr old GD.
Today we have a tea party at same GD's house, and I am making guacamole sandwiches to take. Smashed up chick peas with a little garlic, onion and avocado will make the spread for little tea sandwiches. I know my daughter will be baking; at our last tea party I was able to limit my intake of her wonderful fresh baked sour cream and cinnamon bunt cake to one piece. So I have high hopes of not making a pig of myself today.
So off to the store for the bread to make the sandwiches, then home again to mix up the spread. I think sharing a green smoothie with Sis this morning will be a nice light breakfast before the tea at 11am.
Flip Flops here I come.
Today we have a tea party at same GD's house, and I am making guacamole sandwiches to take. Smashed up chick peas with a little garlic, onion and avocado will make the spread for little tea sandwiches. I know my daughter will be baking; at our last tea party I was able to limit my intake of her wonderful fresh baked sour cream and cinnamon bunt cake to one piece. So I have high hopes of not making a pig of myself today.
So off to the store for the bread to make the sandwiches, then home again to mix up the spread. I think sharing a green smoothie with Sis this morning will be a nice light breakfast before the tea at 11am.
Flip Flops here I come.
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